One Direction Preferences and Bsm's

Preference: Your suicide note

Liam: Do you remember when we went out to the backyard, and stayed out there, just talking? I'm pretty sure it was nearly 4 am by the time we got back inside. That night, you became the first person I ever really opened up to. I even told you I loved you for the first time that night. I also told you about how terrible I thought life was. How terrible it was that things could always change so quickly, and they had a habit of doing so. I think that scared you a bit, but you stayed. I remember when you found me crying alone in our room that one night in June. I think that scared you too. But you lay with me, you put on Toy Story, and you stayed. I don't want to hurt you. God, that's the last thing I want. I love you way too much to ever see you get hurt. But, no matter how hard I try, I'm not strong enough for this. For life, and the horrible people in it. You told me once that I was strong. "So, so strong". Really, you were the reason I seemed so strong. The reason I stuck through everything. But I really can't pretend I'm alright anymore, Li. I'm really sorry.

Louis: Hi Louis. Or, I guess goodbye. Lately, I've gotten much worse. The wrenching feeling of self-hatred and sadness nearly every night, the endless string of horrible, horrible things people have said to me, or called me. I tried, Lou, I really did. 
And please don't feel like this was your fault. The only thing you're responsible for is keeping me here this long, keeping me strong. I was always happiest when I was with you. You taught me how to smile through my worst days, you taught me what love really felt like, and you taught me I was certainly better than... Well, this. But it's just gotten to be too much, and I always was a quitter.
I'm so sorry Louis. But, let yourself move on, okay? There isn't a doubt in my mind that one day, you'll meet an amazing girl, one who'll make you happier than I ever could. You can get married on te beach, and have 7 kids like you talked about, and even that dog you said you wanted. Don't waste your time on me, you've done that enough. 
I'll always love you, Louis.

Zayn: "I'm not afraid of dying. Total peace after death, becoming someone else is the best hope I've got." 
Me and my habit of quoting things. Even at a time like this. Anyways, I can't really do this anymore. As wonderful as you are, as happy as you've made me, and as much as I love you, it's just become way too complicated, and I've never liked rollercoasters.
I never could see what you loved about me. Every time I looked in a mirror I wanted to vomit. Every time I was alone I wanted to cry. That sounds terribly needy, but it's true. 
I just want peace. I just want to be okay. I'm not afraid. To be quite honest, I was always more afraid of how much I loved you than of death. 
I still love you, nothing could ever change that. Enjoy the ride without me, Zayn. It's time for me to get off.

Niall: I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I don't really know what to tell you to be honest. I've always been shit at explaining things, especially feelings. I want to thank you though. The time I spent with you was the best of my life, and you were the only thing keeping me going. Last night I was thinking though. I read through a lot of stuff about me. About us. They're right, you know. You could do much better, and you deserve much better. And hell, I've been in love with the idea of death for so long it terrifies me. I have to go now, but please let yourself be happy. For me.
I love you, I always have, and I always will.

Harry: I lied. I'm not better. I'm not okay. I'm only ever happy when you're with me, and even then, I always have that voice in my head, screaming that you could be better off. That you'd be happier without me. That I'm a mess. It's true, really. You may not think so right now, and I know you better than anyone haz, so I know you're probably frustrated, but please don't waste your tears on me. I wanted this for as long as I can remember. I just want this to be over. The hate, the sadness, that sickening voice in my head. It's not your fault, it's not anyone's fault. Just remember one thing for me. I love you. I love more than anything, and to be honest, that frightens me. But I want you to be happy, Harry. Please let yourself be happy.

(Oh my Jesus I'm crying. Okay, I'm sorry haven't updated in 18 days! I'm a retard, that's so mean of me! Anyways 22 days until school, fu**. Hate school. Anyways this one is sad... Requests are open, thanks, vote, comment, I love you!! 💕😘)