Fragile {On Permanent Hold}

Chapter Three - Painless

When I awoke, I was in an uncomfy hospital bed, tubes stuck in my arms and my wrist bandaged.  Everything hurt, but it was a strange type of hurt - a numb throbbing.

"He... Hel..." My throat was so constricted that I couldn't speak.

"Alice!" Josh was sat in a chair beside my bed, his eyes shadowed, as if he was an insomniac.

Those same eyes were red with tears.  A middle aged, fair-haired nurse walked in.

"Miss Faramino, you're awake..." She gave a gentle smile that masked disappointment.

"Wha.... What h-happened?" I asked, barely remembering what happened, it was all blurry.

"You attempted suicide.  A boy named Alex Gillespie found you half-dead." She explained, voice laced with honesty..

"Where's my D-Dad?" I was having trouble asking.

"He's in the hallway, he hasn't left since we brought you in." Her face was sincere.

"Who brought me in, again?" I asked, not quite remembering.

"The new kid, Alex... He found you, lifted you out and bumped into me... God, I'm so sorry, Ali." Josh's face did not hide the pain.

"Where... Where is he?" I refused to meet Josh's eyes, it was if they burned a hole in me.

"He's outside also.... He hasn't left..." I saw the tears fall from Josh's eyes.

The nurse went outside and called Dad and Alex in.  I felt shame fill me; Dad would kill me.  Alex was wearing glasses that almost shielded his eyes.  Dad's eyes were angry.

"Why did you do this, Alice?" He asked.

"I.." I looked at Josh, who's face was streaked with tears.

I'd never seen him cry before, except when it included his Dad.  My heart ached, although he had betrayed me, I loved him still.

"It was my fault.." He said thickly, his voice choked with tears.

"What?!?" My Dad grabbed Josh by the collar, jerking him violently.

"Sir, please!" The nurse panicked.

"He drove my daughter to suicide, for fuck's sake!" He screamed at the nurse.

The nurse tried to calm him, "She's alive though, sir."

"Not the fucking point!  What did you say to her, huh?" He shook him.

"I said for her to go cut herself..." Josh sobbed, bowing his head.

I knew that my Dad had always scared him and now was no different.   His own father had beat him numerous times, once or twice putting him in A&E.   Although part of me was still pissed, I could never hate Josh.

I had known him since we were five.  He was my best friend then, and my neighbor.   Then he moved away and I didn't see him until freshman year at school.  We caught up, then began dating on New Years day that year.

After our strange life together, I couldn't hurt him.  Seeing him so vulnerable, it cut me deeper than any knife.  And reminded me of our times together.  Our first kiss...

I watched the snow fall upon the ground, painting it white.   My skin was being kissed by the cold air, making it silky-soft and almost as if someone was touching it.  I stood beside Josh, whose green-blue eyes looked like icicles in the night.

"Alice..." he sighed, "I still can't believe I found you again... I thought it was impossible"

"We will always find each other, Josh," I said, then realized how soppy that sounded.