Secrets | Watty Awards Winner 2013

Chapter 15

"Ariel? Is that you?"

A voice breaks the sound of pregnant silence in the aftermath of the kiss.

"Walter? Is that you?" I slide my arse closer to the tree trunk, extending the distance between Will and myself. Without waiting for his answer, I peek through the leaves at the ground.

Standing in the doorway with his hands in his pockets is my father's loyal driver. When he sees me, a gasp escapes his lips and the colour drains from his cheeks.

Something's wrong. I can feel it in my gut.

I swing down, landing on the tiles smoothly. My knees slightly jar from the impact and I make a face. As I keep my eyes on Walter, I hear Will drop to the ground behind me.

Something isn't right.

Walter looks like he wants to faint and he grabs at the door frame for support.

"Walter? Are you alright?" I rush forward to help him but he's not listening to me.

"How could you?" His voice is quiet but filled with fury. "You say you care about her but by doing this, all you're going to do is hurt her." Walter's words are pointed at Will whose face is, again, expressionless.

"She deserves to know, Walter. By keeping her mother's secret from her, you have hurt her more than the truth ever could have," Will says coldly. Walter's face contorts in pain as if Will's words have physically harmed him.

I look between the two men- one well into his fifties and one barely starting adulthood- and ball my hands into fists.

"'She' is standing right here," I say loudly then turn to look at Walter. His dark brown- almost charcoal black eyes- are looking at me with pain. I feel sick.

If hurting Walter is the key to the end of my search for my mother, I would rather not know. I don't want to know. I don't want Walter to be another casualty- like Micah was.

"Walter, you don't have to do or say anything," I say softly, feeling tears prick the back of my eyes. Then, I round on Will, feeling my anger bubbling over. "How dare you drag Walter into this? He has nothing to do with my mother." Even as the words leave my mouth, I know they're not true. Walter practically admitted it earlier and the pain of his betrayal is only just beginning to sting.

Will shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. He looks tired but determined.

"Ari, if you want to keep lying to yourself, go ahead. But you and I both know that Walter has been keeping secrets from you- secrets that cost Micah his life," Will adds quietly. For a moment, I don't- can't- respond. I had not expected him to have the audacity to bring up Micah but now that he has, I am so furious that I can't see straight.

Then, the haze passes from my eyes and I turn to Walter who has tears in his eyes.

"Walter, please. Just tell me. Do you know where my mother is? Is she alive?" I whisper. My heart is hammering against my ribs and breathing is becoming hard. My windpipe feels constricted and my lungs seem incapable of doing their job.

A tear slides down Walter's wrinkled cheek.

"Oh Ari..." He reaches up a hand and traces my cheek and jawline. "I love you as my own child. I would give my life for yours if I knew it would save you."

I can feel the urge to cry starting to overpower me but I choke back the tears. "Walter..."

"I've watched you grow up and I've loved every moment of chauffeuring you around. When Micah was killed, a piece of me died as well..." Walter's voice fades as tears rack his body.

"Just tell me. Please, Walter. I'm begging you." I clutch Walter's hands in mine, holding them so tightly that I'm sure I'm cutting off the blood circulation his fingers.

Walter looks me in the eyes and a shudder runs down my spine.

This is it.

"Like everyone, I believed that your mother had died in that car accident but a month after, someone contacted me and asked me to meet them in a shady bar. They said they had information about your mother's accident. I agreed and went to meet them. When I got there, I met with your mother."

My breath quickens at the revelation. I grit my teeth, forcing myself to stay focused for the rest of Walter's story.

"I was shocked but your mother told me that she had faked her death to protect herself from someone who was after her. She made me swear never to tell your father or you or Micah what had happened and she asked me to give her regular updates of how you and Micah were going." Walter shakes his head and bends his head so that his chin hits his chest. "I agreed and I've been quietly giving her updates ever since."

My eyes widen as the last piece of Walter's deception falls into place. My fingers release Walter's and my arms fall to my sides.

"Ari, please understand. I was doing it for your safety. Your mother said that if you ever found out about her being alive, the person who was after her would go after you." Walter looks at me with such earnestness that I have to take a step back.

"You lied to me," I whisper. "You've been lying to me for years."

"Ari-"

"Micah would still be alive now if you had just told me a long time ago," I almost spit out. I turn around, feeling the hot tears cascading down my cheeks- tears of betrayal and hurt.

I feel arms circle around me and I push away with as much force as I can.

"No. No! NO!" I struggle against Will, feeling the sobs choking me up. With an almighty shove, I manage to pull away from him and I run. Pushing past Walter, I run into the house and up the stairs. I can't see where I'm going because the tears are blurring my vision but I just hope I'm going in the right direction.

I run into my room and slam the door shut before sinking down against it. My teeth sink into my bottom lip as I try to stop crying. I feel betrayed and gullible, stupid and angry. Walter knew all along. He could have stopped me when I began my search for my mother. If he had, those people would never have taken me and they would never have murdered Micah.

I don't know how long I cry for, sobbing but eventually, I curl up into a ball and sleep overtakes me.

Being asleep is almost as bad as being awake and I'm vaguely aware of someone entering my room. Arms slide under my body and lift me up. I moan, unhappy with being moved but I soon feel my soft mattress under me and I snuggle under my comforter. My eyes open a crack and I see Will looking at me with a gentle smile on his face.

I want to slap that smile off that smug face, but fatigue weighs down my bones.

Before long, I fall asleep, dreaming of another world that could never exist.

*****