Upside Down

(43) I Have To Pee (Really, Really, Really Badly)

~Wow, is this an update? What a crazy random happencestance? Let us go forward in this venture, shall we?~~

Chapter 42

 Funny : Good :: Scary : Bad

"Ahhhhh! Hey! Someone," I screamed as I punched the door as hard as I possibly could repeatedly. "Heeeeyyyy! Listen to me! Bitch, I know you can hear me!"

So yeah, Casey and I have a long drawn out talk about a plan for escape and this is what we came up with, screaming and banging on the door. Yes, we are incredibly smart and ... yeah, I'm so going to die.

That or the door was soundproof and I was totally wasting my efforts and energy here.

But then the door opened and I was like 'Yay!' but at the same time I kind of wanted to cry.

I don't want to die.

"What the fucking hell is your fucking shitty ass problem?" A voice shouted, nearly growling in my face.

"Uh hello," I sneered at him. "My problem is I was kidnapped by a bunch of inbred Schizophrenics who beat the shit out of me. And on top of all that: I have to pee, like really badly, like really, really, really badly!"

He just gave me one of those looks. You know, those looks adults give children when they can't fucking believe their child just asked the dummiest question in the world. Then with a roll of his eyes he just pointed to the corner of the room and smirked at me.

It was dark in the corner with stains of what I was guessing to be the lest resident's piss covering the two walls and the floor that made up the corner. There was a small hole at the bottom of one wall and I swear to god I saw a rat run out from it.

Silently, with a poker face that could rival any professionals, I looked at the man with his beard twitching because of his smirk.

"Aw hell, naw."

"What?"

"You heard me bro, there is no way I am sticking my dick in that corner. That rat is going to bite it off. I just know it will."

"Oh my god, whatever. Just come with me, you pansy. Scared of a fucking rat."

I hid an inner smile and followed the man out of the cell.

"You know, you shouldn't use that word as often," I suggested as we walked.

"What?" He asked incredulously, not understanding what I was talking about.

"The word fuck, man," I told him. "It's an art to curse, you have to use it specially, not just willy-nilly. That takes away it's ... I don't know, specialness or something."

"What the fuck are you talking ?"

"See!" I pointed out to him. "Right there, a good 'hell' could have been used but no, you used fuck ... again. You see, curse words are like ... shirts. You wear a certain shirt on a certain occasion. For casual things like dropping a glass, but it doesn't break then that would be the time to use the word shit. But if you dropped a glass and it did break then you would have the perfect time to use fuck. Simple as that."

"So you just got this whole cursing thing down to a science, don'tcha?" He question with a look at me.

"Yup, I'm a cursing expert!"

"Just shut the hell up and get go take a shit," He growled and I noticed we had finally made it to the bathroom.

"See! A great sentence perfectly laced with cursing. You're a fast learner," I smiled at him as he pulled off a set of keys on his belt to open the bathroom. "You want to hear another great way of saying fuck?"