I laid still watching the huge monitor before me. It beeped slowly according to my heartbeat while the opposite machine beeped rapidly according to my baby's heartbeat.
I hit twenty-six-weeks today, which meant I decided to keep the baby; and my time was almost up. I gained a little more weight, but most of it as in all of it hid in my breast and in my ass.
Crazy thing about my pregnancy was everything was backwards as hell, I hardly cry anymore or at all. I eat a lot and sleep less, and besides my ass and breast my face was fat to.
Now don't get me wrong my feet still swells, and I do have back pains just like any other pregnant women. It's natural in my case so I've been told, although I wish I had pain killers because this baby had my tailbone so freaking sore.
I wasn't having any irregular food cravings, but I swear pizza and French fries is all this baby really tolerated. Everything else I threw up and could not keep down, maybe just maybe some fruit.
None of that stuff was healthy though, my doctor tried giving me lists of other things to try; but none of them satisfied my child. So I've just been trying different measures, eating a little at a time...I guess that was helping.
"So have you decided on knowing the sex of your baby yet?" My doctor asked standing beside me, it's been about a month or two since he's told me I could find out his or hers sex.
I always say no simply because his or her father is not here to find out with me. "No." I replied shaking my head lightly, I just wasn't ready to experience this first time special moment without him.
"Lozada if you keep holding off soon the baby will be here, and you'll find yourself buying last min baby clothes and products." He explained sitting down on his stool.
I nodded my head showing him I agree with saying, I knew what he was doing; but I wasn't ready yet. If Deric wasn't here I didn't deserve the right to know, we should both be sharing this; I can't I just really can't do this without him.
"Alright I'll print a few pictures and then you can go." He said standing up leaving the room. I slid off the high bed pulling my jeans up buttoning them.
My stomach was shaped like a little basketball, and sat about two to three inches over my jeans. I wore baggy shirts so no one could tell, but to be honest I wish I didn't have to do that.
I look so good being pregnant, and I can't even enjoy my pregnancy or embrace it...god I hate it happened this way. "Ok your next appointment is in a month, here are your pictures and you are good to go." My doctor said.
"Thanks." I grabbed my bag and leaving quietly going directly home. I pulled up and parked in my original spot on the driveway reaching for my cellphone, I hope he answered.
After I pressed send I instantly pressed end, some things are just harder to do and can't be done at all I thought getting out of my car going inside.
I stuck my head and half of my body through the kitchens main entrance peeking at my mother, she was standing over the stove stirring the contents inside of the pot.
From the looks of it she was making dinner, and had just recently started on it. "Hey ma, need some help?" I said with a small grin, she smiled back and nodded her head eagerly.
I took a seat at the table grabbing the knife slicing the tomatoes on the cutting board tossing them into the salad bowl with the fresh mozzarella and spinach.
"How was it?" My mom said dropping the onions she had previously chopped into the pre heated skillet. "It was good, the baby's heartbeat sounds incredible." I said smiling.
