Dancing Under the Moonlight

Ch.1 Haunted

I just wander around really it's quite boring the day is just wake up, eat, walk, be haunted, stare at an empty canvas, learn to read for a bit, eat, go to bed, than repeat. Then again when I sleep it's terrible I go to sleep and then keep waking up from a nightmare. I can never escape the nightmares there just always there. And then Tam goes and tries to comfort me every night but nothing ever works.

So today's like everyother day me just walking around randomly for a while. And it's so boring but where my mind does wander to is Rhys and the night court. It's what I think about a lot just to get my mind off things. I wonder what it will be like I mean it's obviously going to be night but I wish I could just see it because it sounds beautiful. But all I can do is leave it to my imagination.

So as I go to sleep today I get some rest for about two or three hours but then I wake up screaming. Just from seeing me kill those fae all over again just stabbing them. I remember there screams as I did it. And the cries from there families. I don't think I will ever forget about it. And tam just goes on with his day like everything's fine and I guess it is for him but I'm haunted and I will be haunted for a very long time.

As a file in to breakfast after another day I see that Tamlin and Lucien are already there and that's  a hit odd because I usually get here first. Well anyway I  here now and I'm so tired its sad my eyes keep drooping but I don't want to fall asleep or even just close my eyes because I know I will see their faces the faces of the ones I killed.

" good morning" tam says with a smile on his face. I wonder what could he possibly be smiling about.

" what do you want?" I ask him. There's no smile on my face only a scowl. I really am disliking my clothes there not at all expressing how I feel and because I feel down I feel like I need black or very dark clothes.

"Well someone is in a bad mood" says Lucien 

"Well not everyone is always in a smiling mood" I fire back. Why were they acting like this  I think they know very well why I'm like this and that I am always like this. I just want to eat in peace I think.

"Well I guess we'll be more quite for you," says Tamlin. So we eat in silence or atleast I think we do I kinda drifted off thinking about whether or not it's worth my time to even continue eating. So after I eat I get up to go and walk in the gardens. There it's quite people aren't going up to talk to me here.

I sit down after I get to this certain spot where there's a medow and then if you go far enough down there's this cliff with a waterfall. So I go and sit down there and enjoy the water here there is no one and it's almost completely quite besides the ever flowing waterfall. After an hour I go to get up after all I need to have some sort of run to somewhere. I do run a bit but I'm still practicing with this new body.

So I get up and start my run. With this body it's much easier to hear everything and my strides are longer. Although I still have to get the hang of running because before I know it I'll, "ahhh" fall. And there I go I think as I start tumbling down the hill and unto a river. Well that hurt and I'm wet from the river I think to myself.

"  uhh are you okay Feyre" asks someone wait who is this person I think.

"Well besides being wet for  the river and in pain yeah" I say sarcastically. " umm did you want to show yourself so I can see who you are?"

" oh yeah, uhh it's me." Lucien says weakly.

"Well just dandy now what are you doing here?" I ask but really I want to ask him to heal me because I'm to lazy to do it myself and I'm not to good at it.

" ohh I was just walking around until I heard a splash and saw you make a big fool out of yourself". Says Lucien, " also are you going to heal yourself because that looked kinda painful".

" well I  not to good at healing myself, so can you do it for me?" I ask hopefully I am almost 100% sure though that he won't do it for me.

" well maybe let me think about it.... How about" he says and I'm suddenly a bit hopeful he'll say yes, "no".

"Well altleast tell me how to do it" I say/beg. But really I already know how. But I just want to buy myself some more time.

" you already know how to" he tells me. He sounds kinds annoyed, " I'm not going to waste my time and tell you how to do it.

"Ahh fine I'll do it" I tell him, as I heal myself I ask him "what do you actually need?"

" ahh finally, Tamlin wants to ask you again to marry him, but judging by past experiences I'm guessing you're going to tell him you're to busy to talk about it, so you can avoid him" he says, " am I right?"

" yes" I tell him. But my mind has already drifted off. I vaguely hear Lucien going proably to tell Tamlin the news. But the' " ahh" I say to myself the tattoo on my arm from the deal starts to heat up and flash a bit. After a couple minutes it stops but that just leaves me thinking what was that.  And did Rhys do that? Does that mean he's coming back soon? Ahh I shouldn't think about it to much it doesn't matter.

So as I run back surprisingly there isn't anymore injuries. So I go to my room to take a bath because I'm a bit sweaty and dirty and besides that I just don't feel clean. Really it a good bath but now I have to think of something to wear. Naturally to go match my mood I try and pick the darkest tunic and pants. But that's a green tunic that's not even that dark and for pants a dark blue ish. " well it's better than nothing I say out loud".

So I go to the library to practice my reading some more and let me just say my reading has gotten so much better over three months I can read a ton of books. I guess that's because I learn fast but I bet I'd know more if I had an actual teacher but no I had to self teach myself.

I pick out a new book because I just finished one it's called to kill a mockingbird .  Huh well that seems kinda interesting so I start reading it and wow that's pretty interesting a bit slow yeah but it good p. Apparently I loose track of time just getting lost in the book I am reading and before I know it I realize I have to go to dinner. Well I got to chapter eleven so that's pretty good for me. From what I notice it seems like with time I might be a speed reader.

So I file into the dining table nodding to bog Lucien and Tamlin. They seem to notice me but they seem like their in s deep conversation and can't really be disturbed right now. That's fine with me though I am not in a talking mood right now but let's be honest I'm kinda never in a mood to talk.

I see plates on the table that have food on them so I grab a plate and start serving myself all sorts of things but don't put a lot of food on my plate because I'm not in a eating mood. It doesn't take me to long to finish eating even though I'm not in much of a eating mood. After eating I quickly get up maybe a bit to fast for I almost tumble over. Ah I'm not feeling to hot well whatever I'm going to bed now so ehh.

"Night," I say to Tamlin and Lucien but they don't really notice me. So I start the journey to my room suddenly not wanting to go to bed and I want to procrastinate but I don't think that's going to happen. I quickly change into a nightgown of sorts and jump in bed. I almost instantly fall asleep for how tired I am.

As soon as I fall asleep I'm in a dream mode first it's not that ad I'm just in a garden but then I'm there right in front of those fae and I'm about to kill them. I stab the first one I hear the scream and I hear crying. It just gets louder and louder I kill the second one and then Tamlin I have to kill him and I do but no he just keeps on dying before me and never stops. I then wake up screaming. I try to go to bed again and I fall asleep but then I just have the same nightmare.

I finally give up and just go to the library there I pick up the book I was previously reading and start reading it. The  thankfully I just get lost in reading it and I keep reading the book until morning and I get far in the book I got slot more chapters done. Then I'm thankful for just getting lost in reading the book.