Forever and always*gay love story*

Chapter Eight

"Come on, Jordyn. It's not a big deal. I don't do it as much as before." I told him, feeling guilty because I knew that he just worried about me. When I first started cutting, he was the one begging me to stop. When I stopped eating, he was the one willing to move me into his apartment and make me dinner every night. I hated hurting him.

"I should've known. I should have figured it out as soon as you walked in in a long sleeve shirt in the middle of summer. Let me see." He ordered. I was about to protest, but when I looked into his eyes, something told me to just do it. I sighed and, looking down, pulled my sleeves up to reveal my newly scabbed wrists. Jordyn's eyes watered and I quickly pulled my sleeves back down.

"Jordyn, don't cry. It's just going to upset me more. I'm not trying to hurt you, ya know?" I asked him. He shook his head and looked up at me.

"But you do. I care about you Javy, we've been friends, no, more like brothers, for YEARS. When you hurt yourself, you're hurting someone that I care about. And that hurts me, whether you see it or not." He said softly. His pain brought tears to my eyes.

A lot of people who know me and Jordyn think that we are secretly in love. But that's honestly not how it is. Jordyn is the older brother that I always wanted to have. I love him of course, but not in a romantic way. Same goes for him. We're like family, and that's how it's always been. Ever since we met, we've looked out for each other. And now, I'm the one hurting him. I hate myself for that.

"I'm sorry. I just don't know what to do anymore. Sebastian just moved next door to me. We're neighbor's now. I can't stand seeing him in school, and now I have to live right next to him. I can't do that. I'm not strong enough to take the abuse anymore." I cried, tears now pouring down my face. Jordyn sighed and pulled me to him, embracing me in a big hug.

"You know the offer still stands. You can move in here with me. I've told you that multiple times." He whispered to me but I sighed. I can't leave Eli with our stepdad. That wouldn't be fair to him.

"You know why I can't, Jordyn. I would if it weren't for Eli." I told him. Of course he already knew that. He smiled at me sadly. After that, we just sat and watched movies for the next six hours and cuddled.

At midnight, I began to feel tired so I made Jordyn get me some pop. Diet, of course. I wanted to be able to stay up with him and hang out. We hadn't really gotten to in a while. Jordyn then decided to suggest we play some video games and then proceeded to demolish me at Super Smash Bros. Old game, still awesome. We played for hours and then I decided it was time for bed. I curled up in Jordyn's bed with him and passed out, dreaming of a place where I could just be happy.
***********
The next morning came to soon. It was a Sunday, but I had promised my mom that I would be home by three. When I lanced at the clock, I saw that it was already 1:30. I groaned and rolled over, landing on something hard and warm. And moving.

I opened my eyes to see Jordyn's bare chest. Squealing, I flipped over and, to my surprise, off the bed. Landing on my ass, I sat up and rubbed my head. I heard a deep chuckle, still laced with sleep, and looked up to see Jordyn's bright green eyes looking at me. I pouted and stood up, stretching.

"You're so mean." I whined, my gayness coming out in my tired state. He chuckled and pulled me back down on the bed.

"Oh, shut up. You do this to yourself." He said, smiling. I frowned. Only because I was still tired and I had to get up, but his bed was so comfortable. He laughed and I pushed him, this time making him fall off the bed. I winced when I heard a loud 'thud' as he hit the ground. I rolled over and looked at him, my mouth making a little 'o' when he looked back at me evilly.

I quickly pushed myself away from the edge and stood up, running away from him and leaving his bedroom. I chuckled to myself as I entered the kitchen and pouted myself a glass of water. All my humor died when I saw my reflection in the clear steel refrigerator. Staring at myself, it was all I could do no to cry.

No matter what I do, I will never be skinny enough. Good enough. I feel a hand on my shoulder and I was so out of it I didn't even jump.

"Javier..." I heard Jordyn say before he grabbed the cup out of my hand and placing it on the counter. Then he crushed me in a bone shattering embrace. I couldn't stop the tears, and so for the second time in as many days, I was crying on his shoulder. He rubbed my back as he rocked us back and forth.

"It's okay. You're okay, Javy." He murmured, and my heart broke because deep inside, I think we both knew neither of those things were true.

********
A/N: hey guys. Sorry its so short. I've been focusing on school a lot these last few weeks. But hey, you should just be happy I even updated!