All Time Low-Maybe I'd Feel More Alive Than I Do Now Chapter 5

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“Jack if you stop this damn car I promise that you’ll get out of here alive!” I grabbed onto the dark grey dashboard and pushed myself deeper into my seat. My head was pounding as the car sped down the long 3-lane motorway. We were heading for a crossroad and we weren’t going to make the lights before they turned red.

Buildings flashed by in a blurry haze, dotted with lights from shop windows. The beautiful Baltimore sun was setting and the sky was smeared with shades of orange, red and deep purple. An odd mix of colours but only a sunset could make them look beautiful together. The birds swooped by reminding you that this was the sky, not a piece of art hanging on a wall in a gallery, packed with people, all transfixed on this one painting and thinking the same thing.

‘This is the most amazing sight I’ve ever seen.’

My mind had to skip to a darker subject; it had to travel to my sister. I haven’t said goodbye to Noela, to my Noela. Or Shae. What about Rosie and Laura?

Time would tell. But the one thing that I did know was that…

I couldn’t die now!

“Jack! Please just stop the car,” Lisa sobbed into the crook of Alex’s neck. The tearstains on his shoulder were growing fast and a scared look crossed his already concerned face. Drops of sweat trickled down my spine and the small of my back was pressed to the black leather seat of Jack’s fancy car.

“We can make it! We have time,” Jack pushed his foot down and the car lurched to life in a way that none of us thought possible. The little red needle on the speed dial was flickering between 105 and 110 miles an hours. Lisa’s breathing quickened as Alex let go of her.

“Jack if you don’t stop the car I swear to God that I will tackle you away from that steering wheel,” Alex threatened as he flung one leg over the front seat divider. He grabbed the headrests and pushed both of his legs through the tiny space between the shiny seats. Holding onto Jack’s shoulders and throwing himself at the dashboard, Alex caught himself before his whole body collided with the floor.

“Jack stop the car or I’ll have to make you stop!” Alex spat out as he reached for the steering wheel. Jack and Alex both had their hands on the wheel and were desperately struggling to gain control of the car from each other. One of Alex’s long legs swung wildly at the breaks but missed and kicked Jack’s foot instead.

The car sped up and Alex was knocked into the back seats.   

We swerved into the next lane and the sound of scrapping metal and sparks filled the heated atmosphere surrounding us. Cussing and car horns followed from the cars around us as we pulled back into our original lane. Lisa was still begging Jack to stop from her seat in the back and now with out Alex she was crying into her hands.

“Jack, listen to me! If you are found to be in the car that either Alex or Lisa died in, you would be in so much crap with the authorities but if you were found in the car that I died in you would be convicted of kidnapping, possible drug dealing and man slaughter. Anything that my bands lawyers can think of, you’ll be charged for it. I’m 18 for God’s sake Jack! I’m young and Alex and Lisa don’t deserve to d-” I was cut off when something hit the car door closest to me. Crushing my frail body into the dashboard. I couldn’t move and all I could hear was screaming. The darkness surrounded my vision and slowly it was growing bigger and bigger, limiting my sight.

Something else hit the car and threw me into the seat that Jack was sitting in. I couldn’t feel him next to me. Was I going to die alone?

Sirens? I can hear sirens! And more screaming infused with heavy breathing as a shot of pain ran up the side of my body. There was an intense feeling spreading through me. I could see a film of red, pounding behind my closed eyelids. I was defenceless against the growing red monster as it mixed with the black and started to cover my body.

It wasn’t going to be merciful. It wasn’t going to stop. It had labelled me a useless target that it could pray on without any hassle or having to put up a fight. I was nothing compared to this brute that leisurely walked through my body, enjoying my discomfort. Was this karma? Was this thing out to get me for all the bad acts I’ve succeeded in doing in such a short space of time? Or is it here just because I let my guard down for one moment?

It wasn’t going to give up on my motionless body until it had finished taking every last bit of energy it could come across. I was mentally drained and my emotions were running wild. I couldn’t save myself with out help and I wasn’t going to be helped any time soon. The monster had slithered up to my neck and I was now face to face with it, the monster and all it’s glory was now going to reveal it’s true power, the real pain that it could unleash.      

 The pain crept through the rest of me and knocked the last bit of restraint out of me. This was Jack’s fault! I should be in the studio with my band not lying here surrounded by glass, in this type of pain. He’d run away from the mess he knew he could have stopped, but he didn’t stop it, did he. If he tried then he still knows that he should have tried to stop the car earlier. Not when it was too late. Not when his friends were dying.

Jack won’t come back to save me. I’m just the limp body of a rock star who got in a car with a stranger at the wrong time. If I’d stared into Alex’s eyes for just a couple of seconds longer or just got Jack to drive me home, then maybe I’d feel more alive than I do right now.

Jack wasn’t going to stop and he didn’t so now I would have to pay for his mistakes.   

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