Chapter Eight: Release Your Captives Immediately!
CRASH!
A group of about twenty-five manikins burst down the door to Lizzy's apartment. Cloud hid under the table, Sephiroth gulped, and Ultimecia looked relieved.
"What is the meaning of this!?" Lizzy looked like she could explode at the slightest provocation. She walked over to the manikins, trying to look as menacing as possible, which, for her, was not hard. "You need to go back to where you came from! All of you, or I swear I WILL BLOW OFF YOUR HEADS WITH A PARTY POPPER AND HANG THEM IN MY ROOM FOR DECORATION!!!" Now all three of them were hiding under the table. Lizzy yelling at full volume was scarier than any monster.
Of course, the manikins, being nothing but mindless fighting machines programmed to do what their owners told them to, didn't listen to her. They didn't even blink. (Well, one or two of them blinked, but they were going to anyway.) They just formed a line in front of the girl, slapping their weapons (if they had any) against their palms menacingly.
"Release your captives." The manikin in front, which ironically looked like Sephiroth, glared at the redhead, who didn't give them so much as a flinch.
"Or what?"
"We will destroy your fortress."
"Try i--"
"-- Wait a minute." Cloud stepped forward from his hiding place. "She's not holding us captive. She's protecting us. Look," he explained, playing the video of Sephiroth's near-demise at the hands of fangirls again. They didn't show any sign of emotion.
"It's not working, Cloud." Lizzy pressed STOP on the remote control and turned towards her attackers, leaping into action. Using her amazing glomp power, she transformed into Fangirl, the ultimate superhero! (Insert crappy action music here.) Cheesiness aside, she used her powers of fangirlishness to overcome the manikins until there was only one left.
"Hey," she said, "are you made of Jell-O?"
To make a long story short, he was.
BUUUUUUUURP!
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"This girl scares me."
The three Final Fantasy characters were huddled in the bathroom, contemplating how to get out. "Like, she doesn't have any weapons or magic, but by herself she defeated half the manikin army Kefka sent," whispered Sephiroth.
Ultimecia nodded. "Who on Gaia is she? Speaking of Gaia, how are we going to go back there? Magic doesn't work here."
"Well, I guess the only solution is to find those 'Final Fantasy' games she talks about and try jumping in," Cloud reasoned, cocking his head to the side in a shrug.
The sorceress, who wasn't there when Lizzy mentioned Final Fantasy, looked as bewildered as ever. "What's Final Fantasy?"
"Well, apparently we all come from these things called 'video games.' The one we come from is Final Fantasy 7. The one you come from is Final Fantasy 8. All three of us are in other games as well, Dissidia: Final Fantasy for all of us and Crisis Core: Final Fantasy 7, among other things, for Cloud and I."
"I don't get it."
"Yeah, me neither."
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"Are you sure this is going to work?" Cloud asked skeptically. The Final Fantasy 7 disc case was wide open, propped against a chair. Sephiroth backed up against the living room wall and started running towards it...
"OWWWWWWW!" It didn't work. Sephiroth knocked the chair clean over and landed right on his... sensitive spot. Apparently, even the most powerful and insane man in the world could be put out of commission by the traditional blow to the family jewels.
Cloud, Ultimecia, and Lizzy stood in shocked silence for a few seconds, then burst out laughing as they realized the hilarity of the situation. "Did you just see that?" Lizzy managed, trying to stop giggling long enough to talk. "Right in the ol' chestnuts!" This caused the three to laugh even harder.
"Oh, shut up." Sephiroth, who had turned the shade of Lizzy's hair, picked himself off the floor and tried to regain his dignity. "It could have as easily been you."
"No, it couldn't," she giggled. "I don't have any nuts!" She couldn't take it anymore. She fell backwards, literally ROFLing as she pounded her fist against the carpet.
"Lizzy," Cloud sighed, taking a deep breath as he tried to calm the fangirl down, "this is a serious situation we have here. It didn't work, so there has to be another way, or we may never get home."
"Yeah," she said, trying to stop laughing, "I guess you're right."
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A whole effin' lot of failed attempts later....
"Sephiroth, calm down." Lizzy placed a sympathetic hand on Sephiroth's armored shoulder. "You've already bruised yourself running into the TV, stubbed a toe jumping on my PlayStation, tried in vain to create a portal back-- twice-- and tried running into the disc again while holding hands with Cloud, and so many other things. I don't want to see you get hurt."
"Gotta... get... back.... home..." Sephiroth panted, leaning against the table for support. "The... others... need... us."
As if on cue, Sephiroth's phone rang. The one-winged angel reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled it out, to find that he was getting yet another call from Kefka.
"Iiiiit's Sephiroth."
"WHERE ARE YOU!?" Kefka's shrill voice blasted from the tiny speaker, making the walls (and Cloud) tremble.
"Still in Lizzy's apartment."
"You mean THE MANIKINS LOST!?"
"Yep."
"HOW!? That captor of yours must be so powerful!"
"She had the powers of fangirl-ness on her side. What can I say?"
"Lovely, just lovely..... Well, ANYWAYS, YOU AND CLOUD JUST COST US FIFTY MANIKINS AND ANOTHER TEAMMATE! I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY, ONE-WINGED MORON!"
Kefka hang up and for a moment, there was a silence looming in the air. When the clown-mage was that pissed, everyone knew, the world had better run for cover.
After about thirty seconds, Cloud opened his mouth to speak. "You know, we've only seen half the manikins."
Sephiroth's and Ultimecia's eyes widened in realization. "Holy. Shit."
((Author's note: Sorry for the short chapter! Hope you like it! ^^))
BINABASA MO ANG
Five Years After Meteor: A Cold Splash of Reality
FanfictionIt has been five years since Sephiroth was defeated. Cloud and Tifa have just began to settle down when the one-winged angel shows up at the door, looking for a rematch. He whisks a confused Cloud Strife into a portal which was supposed to lead to a...
