Five Years After Meteor: A Cold Splash of Reality

Introducing Ultimecia, Because I Can

Chapter 6: Introducing Ultimecia, Because I Can

((Author's note: I know I'm not writing Ultimecia's accent. That's because she talks normally in Dissidia and that's where this Ultimecia is coming from. Also, I'm going to try writing in the first person for this chapter.))

Ultimecia's POV

"All right, okay. Here's the Seek materia. Now get your booty in gear." Kefka places the small orb in my clawed hand. "Find Sephiroth," he tells it.

Oh, sorry. Did I forget to introduce myself? My name is Ultimecia, the sorceress of time. Kefka is sending me to find someone who is apparently MIA and important to our master plan. He also happens to be with another one of those Cosmos warriors who we need to be in range of the giant cannon we're building.

"I'll be back in time for dinner, with Sephiroth of course," I tell the clown, who is sitting on air again (which annoys the living crap out of me.) "Now..." I make a gesture with my hand, freezing time momentarily as I step in the portal. Once I am in, I release time so it looks like I teleported. (It's SO much more dramatic that way.)

... Hey, it's been a minute since I stepped in the portal. He must be extremely far away.

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Sephiroth's POV

He'll send someone. Kefka said he'd send someone. Gaia, we're all doomed. Why can't Mother save us now?

I never should have dared Cloud to call him. That clown is so completely insane, he should be locked up in a padded, soundproof, isolated, Light of Judgement-proof cell.

"Cole, do you think we'll ever get home?" I ask Cloud. "I'm starting to worry. And I never worry."

"Dunno, but this is kind of all your fault." There he is, blaming someone again. How did I get stuck here with that puppet!? "I mean, YOU were the one who dragged me into that fricking portal."

"Okay, maybe you have a point." Just then, I see a small, glowing red light. It gradually expands... what on Gaia is that?

Mother, save us please...

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Ultimecia's POV

Ah, there it is. The portal is opening. Now where the hell is this? It appears to be a store of some sort. Now that's funny, thinking of the proud Sephiroth going grocery shopping. I take my tentative first steps in this far-away place.

"Sephiroth!" I call out. "Where are you?"

A slightly tanned man with black hair and brown eyes responds to me... in Sephiroth's voice. "Ultimecia? Kefka sent YOU?" His companion, a young adult male with blond hair and green eyes, pulls close to him.

"Are you... Sephiroth?" I squint. Why did he change his appearance, if this was him? "You look... different."

"Ultimecia, it's me." He tilts his fedora slightly, revealing a lock of silver, waist-length hair. "It's not safe here. We're not on Gaia." Not on Gaia!? Impossible! Then again, those pathetic SeeDs defeating me was also impossible.

"Why, then, are you here... if it is not safe?" I shoot him a quizzical look.

"Er... well... Lizzy? It seems we have a visitor." He leans in close to me. "She'll explain it," he says in a hushed tone.

'Lizzy', the red-haired girl, gives me a once-over. "Another one?" Her voice sounds like she has just eaten a whole bag of candy, including the bag itself. "Well, well, well, Ulti, it seems like I'll have to take care of you."

"Why...?" Now I am truly puzzled. "And how in the name of Chaos do you know my name!?"

The girl speaks to me in a slow, careful voice. "Er... look behind you."

I whirl around to find a group of young adults, most of them men, gaping at me and taking pictures. What the...

After a few awkward seconds, Sephiroth speaks up. "Ulti... run away. Now. Just fly away, I'll hold them off."

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Cloud's POV

Ultimecia's here too!? This just keeps getting better. Could you do me a favor and remind me to kill Sephiroth and Kefka once we're outta here!?

I look to my left to find that I had subconsciously been holding on to Sephiroth the whole time... ugh. I push away immediately. I must have looked so silly.

"Seth, how exactly will you hold them off? They could overpower you with their glomping skills."

"Don't worry. I have a plan." He seems confident, so I'll back off and let him do his thing.

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Sephiroth's POV

Now what is my plan, anyway?

I'll just make it up as I go along. "Um, yeah, cool cosplay, huh?" I start talking nervously. "Ulti," I whisper to her, "go as soon as they stop staring at you."

Lizzy rolls her eyes and steps in front of me. "Leave this to me." She raises her voice to talk to our growing audience. "NOW, YOU IDIOTS, LISTEN UP. YOU LEAVE ULTI ALONE OR I WILL PERSONALLY CHOP YOU IN HALF WITH A PIECE OF PAPER! I'M COUNTING DOWN! THREE... TWO...!"

The teenagers run away immediately. How does she do that!?

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Lizzy's POV

Ungh, those idiots. Daring each other to do things that will put us all in deep trouble.

"All right, you three, what am I going to DO with you?" I like expressing my rage in my speech, it goes away faster that way. "You put us all in danger of being fangirl'd." Cloud and Sephiroth grin sheepishly and Ultimecia still looks as puzzled as ever.

"I have a question. Where is this place?" Ultimecia asks, narrowing her eyes.

"Well, Ulti," I say with a grin, just as I did to Sephiroth his first day here, "this place is called Earth."