Alive and Shattered

Alive and Shattered: Chapter Four {Adena's POV}

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                                                   Adena's POV:

I found myself in English class once again, but this time, I was tired. Last night had been terrible.

After the big fight with my family and my great relief with my razor, I had a hard time falling asleep. My mother’s words had stayed with me the whole night, causing me to feel disgust towards myself.

I had just fallen asleep too when my alarm went off.

But now, I was in English, sitting next to the last person in the world I’d want to be with. Being around Dylan, since yesterday, had made me uncomfortable. I was angered by the fact that for the rest of the project, I was stuck with him.  

 Mrs. Bridges walked in during my thoughts and took a hat out of her desk.

“Okay students. Today, we will choose another topic to talk about for your project. I have the topics in this hat." Mrs. Bridges walked over to James this time and had him grab a topic. As soon as he read the topic, he burst into fits of laughter.

“We have the topic: “How much do you love Mrs. Bridges?”" Everyone else in the room burst into laughter as well as Mrs. Bridges, but I was too tired to laugh, so I just smiled.

“I see that you guys got the joke topic,” she laughed again. “Go ahead and choose another topic. Unless you want that topic.” James dug into the hat and pulled out a topic again.

“We have ‘favorite movies and music’.” Mrs. Bridges continued through the rest of the class.

When she got to us, Dylan reached his hand in the hat. He pulled out the small slip of paper and turned to me.

“About me?” He said with a questioning glare.

“Try not to reveal too much! We’re answering some questions next week. Wouldn’t want to spoil it!” Mrs. Bridges smiled, walking to her desk.

“So, you first, tell me about yourself?” Dylan asked with a smile. I began to bite my nails, something I did when I was nervous. I didn’t know if I even wanted to answer him. Talking to him made me feel three emotions.

Anger. I was angry he hadn’t defended me the other day. And I was angry he was trying to be my friend now.

Sadness. I was sad that he hadn’t saved me from Jackie’s wrath. I was sad he let her insult me.

But most of all a small part of me wanted to talk to him. I didn’t know why but it pained me to not be talking to him. I had pushed that emotion as far back as I could but it hadn’t disappeared.

“So... we need to talk.” He said, breaking me from my thoughts after I hadn’t responded for some time.. I looked up to him, not saying a word. “About yesterday... with Jackie... I’m sorry. I just... When Jackie has something on her mind, she has to say it. And if I get in her way she...” He stopped for a moment and looked up at me. “There’s no excuse for what I did. I’m sorry.”

I was at a loss for words. I wasn’t sure what to say. 90% of me wanted to tell him it wasn’t okay, 7% of me wanted to slap him, and 3% of me wanted to forgive him.  

"I completely get it if you don't feel like forgiving me anytime soon... But all I'm asking is that it doesn't get in the way of the project."

I looked down at my desk for a moment, wondering if he even deserved my cooperation. But 11:11 comes twice a day and everyone deserves a second chance. I knew it'd take me some time to forgive him, But I was willing to concur.