The Unconditional Pledge

12 Jay

Nine girls — that's how far I've gotten. It's like the number is branded into the back of my mind, constantly reminding me what I've done with nine girls just for a pledge. God, if I had any doubts about whether I could be attracted to girls before, this pledge has gotten rid of all of them. Kissing them, touching them, makes me feel absolutely nothing. It's like kissing bunnies. They're cute, and sweet, and whatever, but there's no way I could find them sexually appealing in the slightest. But I need to reach seven more, if I want to make out with all sixteen girls in our grade, before the Fall Ball.

I've made out with eight girls — and Hannah Greene.

Kissing her was different somehow. Not just because afterwards, she'd shoved me and shouted, "Aren't you gay?" — the first one to remember, it seems — but because she's Hannah Greene. The girl that my best friend has crushed on for years, the girl who dyed her bangs green in seventh grade, probably the only girl in our school who wouldn't jump at the chance to hook up with someone like Nick.

"Whatcha thinking about?"

I jump at the sudden interruption to my thoughts. Juliby's leaning against my desk, brown eyes framed by thick mascara and glossy lips pursed. "Nothing interesting."

"I don't think it was nothing," she says, sticking out her lower lip. "I heard a rumor you hooked up with Hannah. Greene."

I'm caught off guard. Hannah wouldn't tell anyone about it, so it has to be someone else who knows. I glance at the person in question, sitting in the very back huddled over a notebook, and quickly recover. "Don't believe everything you hear, Jules."

Her eyes flood with relief, like she thinks I would never lie to her. "Good. So what are you doing after school today?"

I glance down at her toned, mile-long legs, so unlike any guy's tanned, muscled ones. I'm saved as someone suddenly claps a hand on my shoulder. "Jay, my man," Nick booms. He looks back at Juliby. "Oh, hey Jules. Mind if I steal Jay for a moment?"

She hits Nick on the shoulder. Juliby and Nick go way back — to ninth grade, actually, when she'd nearly lost her pledge against him. "Sure thing, bud."

"You saved me," I groan, as soon as she's gone.

"I know," he says, laughing. "I overheard you and decided it was time for Super Nick to swoop in and save the day."

"It's not that I don't like her," I start.

"But she's not exactly Preston Mathers."

I smile without thinking. "Yeah. And I don't really like her."

Nick smiles, exposing his dimples, before they suddenly disappear. He blurts out, "Hey, how did you know you were gay?"

"Uh. I just ... knew." I squint at him. "I just liked guys. I always have. Why?"

His face drains of color, but then the bell rings. I watch Nick move back to his seat. People hop off desks and sit down, sending their last texts and tucking their phones away.

"Alright, class!"

Mrs. Lima strides in and announces the project we're doing today. I glance around the classroom. Nick, who I usually partner up with, has been detoured by Chelsea Paretti, and I'm left partnerless. I pretend not to notice Juliby two rows ahead of me, waving and mouthing, Let's be partners! Finally, my eyes settle on a figure in the very back. She looks up and the pink stripe in her hair becomes very clear, her eyes meeting mine.

I push myself off the desk and amble over to her. She looks up at me, horrified, and hisses, "What do you want?"

I draw back, pretending to look offended. "Wow, Han. It's like we never shared that moment in my room or something."