Impulse

The Revival

I wake because i’m being pelted by drops of water. Loud screams are sounding from very close by and something about my very being feels wrong.

Hell.

I’m in Hell.

I guess I should have seen this coming, what with all of the drinking and smoking. Not to mention skipping school or sneaking out of the house late at night.

Somehow I had always imagined hell to be a place I despised with every fiber of my being. A constantly cold detention center filled with boring encyclopedias and the cast of Glee always singing Justin Bieber songs. With Mr. Ramsey; my English 4 teacher; giving lectures about his teacher book that he’s almost done with and no food.

This, thought it wasn't exactly as I pictured, was definitely Hell.

The on going yelling made my headache. The water was cold and ever flowing. My entire body throbbed. And my throat felt sore with a disgusting taste in my mouth. Not to mention an odd pressure encircling my body.

I wanted nothing more than to leave this place. I needed to find Erik, however, so I couldn't leave.

And so I opened my eyes.

The walls are familiar, they are from my bathroom. The water is falling from my shower. And the hollering is coming from a very worried, very loud, Michael. He gives yet another shout when he see’s my eyes are open and hugs me tighter, making my ribs screams in protest.

I open my mouth trying to ask him what he’s doing here in hell, but he tells me not to talk. He releases me to take off the shower. “Stay put.” he tells me then leaves the room.

I take the opportunity to brush the God awful taste from my mouth and then enter my room. I’m halfway through changing when I hear Michael yell my name. “I’m here!” I yell back and he runs into my room.

I manage to pull on my clothes before he can see.

“I brought you some water.” he says carefully hanging it to me.  

I take it gratefully, drinking it down before sitting on my bed. We just sit there and stare at eachother for a while until I can’t take it anymore. “What are you doing here?”

It almost seemed like he was a damn that was breaking. One minute he was fine the next liters upon liters of water came rushing out.

“What am I doing here? Really? I left for a half an hour Emery! I came back and you were passed out on the floor with a bottle of pills stuffed down your throat! I thought you were dead! Do you know how scared I was? What were you thinking?

“From the moment I saw you fall over that cliff I knew there was something about you.Something special that needed to stay here. I could see this fire burning with you. And it’s something so rare. Do you know what a sad place the world would be with you gone? You’re like the sun, your light is what keeps things on this earth alive. If your light went out, everything would fall apart! Imagine what it would be like for me to lose you? Or your friends. Your parents! For Gods sake they just lost their son, how horrible would it be if they lost you too? What were you thinking Emery? What would possess you to do that? Why would you want to kill yourself? How could you do that?”

I don’t know if I should tell him the truth. I don't know if he would understand what I was going through. I didn’t know how to explain it in a way that he would understand. I look into his eyes then, his captivating eyes that automatically lock onto mine. His wet clothes reveal all of his muscles coiled, he’s so tense it’s hard to believe. His jaw is clenched like he’s holding something in and I’d rather him let it out so that I can postpone my reason a little bit longer. Droplets of water fall from his hair into his eyes, he angrily blinks them away.

He blinks again and the anger is completely gone from his face. He opens his arms to me then, and without hesitation I run into them. He’s solid, like a rock and I feel, truly feel, like he’s anchoring me to this world. I feel as thought with him around I won’t float away.I won’t be content with spending an eternity in Hell. The feeling is so comforting that I know I can tell him why I tried to leave this place.

And just like that, I do.

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