REDEMPTION (𝓒𝓞𝓜𝓟𝓛𝓔𝓣𝓔)

CHAPTER FIVE

[LATE WINTER - FEBRUARY]

I do not know what to do, and that is an uncomfortable circumstance for me. I have had a row with Roisin—and I fear that I have irreparably ruined our relationship.

It was a stupid thing, really—a difference of opinion about the policies and oversight of the Silver Tower. I have come to see some glaring omissions in their care of those they claim the right to govern. She, on the other hand, seemed to see only the good they do.

At any rate, our discussion grew quite heated, and I said things I should not have. I cannot believe I ranted at her for her optimism and forgiving nature, when I have been the fortunate recipient of both. I realize now that my own experience, the frustration and the hurt from my interactions with them has likely made me overly critical. At the same time, her experience has been positive and good so she is more inclined to forgive their faults.

In the end she left me to my temper tantrum—as she called it—and drove away. Fool that I am, I actually congratulated myself for sending her into retreat—until my temper cooled. And, despite trying to convince myself that it does not matter—it does, more than I can bear contemplate.

Ash simply disappeared for the duration of the argument, as he usually does when I get surly. I have tried very hard to keep my temper in check with him, so as not to frighten him, but I am not a saint—some friction is inevitable. All the same, we are achieving a workable arrangement.

So, why is this blow up with Roisin so different? Because Ash needs me—Roisin does not. She has always said that my part of our alchemical enterprise is invaluable, but that can continue without any closeness—that is what I fear. As much as I hate to admit it, she has become dear to me, and losing her friendship will hurt more anything than I can imagine. How will I get by without her?

I simply do not know ...

Niall rose early. Having tossed and turned all night, he saw no point in lying in bed listening to the annoyingly cheerful chorus of the birds. His life had gone upside down and he was having trouble coping. The chores that usually went by with ease seemed interminable.

Ash rose at his usual time. Sensing Niall's upset, the boy ate his breakfast in silence. He watched Niall pick at his food until he himself finished, when it went in the swill for the pig they had recently acquired and penned out near the shed.  The heavy silence continued while they washed the dishes.

"Are we doing lessons today?" Ash asked as he hung the dish towel to dry.

"Actually," said Niall, rubbing his forehead, "not today. You may go and see your friends, if you like."

Ash nodded and, grabbing his heavy cloak, he hurried out the door. He did not turn toward Gerny's or Sefton's, however. Cutting across the fields, he hurried as fast as his feet would carry him to the healer's cottage. A plume of smoke rose from the chimney and a look at the small barn showed the pony cart still inside. Going to the door, he knocked.

"Coming ..." Called Roisin from inside. The door opened and she peeked out. Seeing Ash, she immediately grew concerned. "Ash? Is something wrong?"

"Well," said Ash slowly. "Yes and no."

"You had best come in," she said, swinging the door wide, "and tell me about it."

"Thank you," said Ash properly, scooting inside her warm, cozy cottage. He removed his cloak and hung it on a peg. At a gesture from Roisin, he sat.