Random Depressing poetry... yeah I know I'm depressing live with it!

Smothering Comfortably

Watching the time pass has become boring
Yes, yes the old man is still snoring
But the time in which goes by is smothering me
And yet I don't mind anymore... as long as I don't have to see
The monsters in which I have created
And the life I cherished has faded
Living in startling juxtaposition
I forget my own composition
For what am I living for here
With death drawing continuously near
I don't recall the rhyme or reason
For my strange act of treason
Against myself, against the me I could be
And against those who believed in me
I am sure, in this moment
That I can never reach the summit
Of potential guaranteed
To someone unfit to lead.
My mistakes play on endless repeat
And invade my mind even as I sleep
Such an annoying life I'm trapped within
But it's not as if I don't deserve it for my sin
Yes, comfortable melancholy
That is all there ever is for one like me
That's fine, I don't recall promising heroics
To people whom can act nothing but stoic
Rot away, die, be burned into my memory
For I am smothering in my own sanctuary
It's of no importance anymore, so farewell
My dear, and departed living hell
Your flesh and voice will be my reminder
That no matter how hard I search... I will never find her.