Over Dose {Book Two}

Chapter Ten : Better Than Being Here

BETTER THAN BEING HERE

      Its a given that in your life, you will do something you regret. Everyone does. Like saying something totally rude and hurtful to someone close to you, or getting drunk at a party and embarrassing yourself to the point were you want to change your name.

      I know one of my biggest mistakes was abusing pills. It was stupid and reckless and I wish I could take it all back. The pain I had caused Mikey and Zane, and myself. I almost died because of my stupidity. And it wasn't worth it at all. I am thankful I've overcome it.

      But I never, ever thought that I would be stupid enough to have unprotected sex. Nor did I even think that during my senior year of high school, I'd get pregnant.

      You see, most of us have a plan for ourselves. What we want to do after high school or who we want to marry or where we will live or how many kids we will have, or where we are going to travel. You know, stuff like that. But most of us don't think of a back up plan. I know I didn't.

      And now, I only have questions. No answers.

      What am I going to do? Mikey and I hardly have enough money as it is... I don't even have a job. And Zane... whats he going to think? This will effect his life just as much as it is mine. My future isn't the only thing in question now, his is too.

      I take in deep breath as I stare at myself in my full length mirror in my bedroom. And of course, my eyes travel to my stomach, which is still as flat as it was a few months ago. Is that a good thing? Does that mean that no one would be able to tell? The only person in the world that knows is Alex, and I know for a fact she would not tell a soul.

      Alex is my best friend, hands down. She held me while I cried in the CVS bathroom after the test came back positive. Hell, she even cried with me. But she kept me calm. "Sammy, everything's gonna be okay, okay?" She had said, "We'll figure this out. I won't leave you. I'll help you get through this." I can only hope that Mikey and Zane say the same thing.

      I can't tell them though. Mikey will want to disown me as a sister, and Zane will leave me. I mean, I know I'll have to tell them eventually but not now. I just need some time. Time to really let this sink in.

       "Sam!" Mikey called from the kitchen, and I flinched. Ever since I found out I've been avoiding Mikey, I don't even dare look him in the eye. I just physically can't bring myself to do so. "You are gonna be late to school!"

      I let out a soft sigh as I throw my hair into a messy bun and throw on some leggings and a grey sweater, not even bothering with my make up. I grabbed my bag and slowly walked out of my bedroom and into the kitchen, not even looking in Mikey's direction.

      He must have caught onto me, because he finally said something, "Sammy? You okay?"

      I simply nodded as I looked in the fridge. Nothing sounded appetizing so I closed it.

      "Aren't you gonna eat?"

      "Not hungry." I mumbled.

      "Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, ya know."

      "Yeah, I know."

      "Sammy," Mikey frowned at me. "Whats wrong with you? The past few days you've been a totally different person."

      I closed my eyes and let a soft grown escape my lips, because honestly I don't know what to say, other than, "Mikey, I'm fine."

      "Is it school? Or Declan?" He suddenly became more serious, and the protective older brother was starting to show. And it only frustrated me.