teenagers

0.6

90 pounds.

i smiled at the scale. i had made it, i was finally skinny.

i had finally made it.

i put the scale back in its place when someone knocked on the door.

"hurry up lucy, i need your help" chris called through the door.

"give me a sec" i called back as i slipped my jeans and jumper back on.

i unlocked the door and was instantly dragged away.

"i don't know what the fuck to wear. he won't tell me where we're going so i don't know if i should dress casually or smartly or if it's somewhere in between and ugh" chris said in a panicked voice.

"do you want me to speak to noah and get him to tell me where you're going?" i suggested.

"please do"

i walked to my room so that i was out of ear shot before i called noah.

"hey noah where are you taking chris tonight?" i said, getting straight to the point.

"why?"

"he has no idea what to wear and he wants your six month anniversary to be perfect."

"oh okay, i'm not gonna tell you just in case you slip up and tell him. make sure he wears something that's smart casual, but also make sure it's comfy."

"okay smart, casual, comfy. got it. seeya later noah."

"bye lucy"

i walked back to chris' room, although this time i felt a bit dizzy.

"what'd he say?" chris said before i even manged to walk through the door.

"damn chris hakuna your tattas, i feel a bit dizzy and you're not helping" i said as i held my forehead.

"sorry lucy"

"don't worry about it, he wouldn't tell me where you're going because he thought i'd slip up and tell you but he said make sure it's smart, casual and comfy." i said, feeling more and more faint with every word.

"well shit that doesn't help much."

"wear the skinny jeans with a button...up...shirt" i said before i fell to the floor.

i don't really know what happened after that. all i know is that i woke up in a hospital, surrounded by my parents, josh, chris, cassie, noah and maxxie.

"w-what happened?" i asked.

silence.

"guys why am i in a hospital bed?" i asked again.

"you fainted lucy. the doctor said it was due to a lack of food or something like that." my dad said, clearly confused by what the doctor had said.

"oh." i said simply.

silence filled the room again.

"how much do you weigh?" chris asked.

"i don't kn-" he cut me off.

"stop fucking lying lucy! you lie about when you eat! you lie about when you're feeling hungry! just tell the truth for once. please. how much do you weigh?"

"90 pounds..." i said.

"you told me you'd come to me if you weighed less than 100 pounds. you promised me lucy. you promised." i felt a pang in my chest when i saw a tear fall down chris' face.

"hi i'm doctor quinn, you must be lucy. you know why you're here right?" i nodded "okay good, you fit all the criteria for being anorexic. here we have a program here that helps people who suffer with eating disorders."

"i don't need help." i said.

"lucy you are almost 50 pounds under weight, something needs to be done." dr quinn said.

"i want to go home. i don't want to be part of your stupid program that's going to make me gain weight and I sure as hell don't want to be here." i snapped.

"lucy the program sounds like a good idea" cassie said.

"lucy what's happening?" my heart broke when i saw the confused look on josh's face.

"nothing josh, we can go home soon. i promise." i told him.

"pinky promise?" he raised his little pinky.

"pinky promise." i linked my pinky with his and smiled.

i had to do this. i had to get better for josh. he shouldn't have to see his big sister in hospital at such a young age.

"i'll do it" i muttered.

"do what?" cassie asked.

"i'll do the stupid program." i said, slightly louder than before.

"why the sudden change of heart?" noah asked.

"it's not right for josh to know about this stuff or see his big sister in hospital when he's only six. i'm doing this for him." i answered.

after that evryone conversed in their own conversations when i realise today was chris and noah's anniversary.

"shit chris i'm so sorry" i said, drawing everyone's attention to chris and i.

"sorry for what?" he asked.

"it's your anniversary today and i've ruined it. you two should be out having fun, not trapped inside a hospital room." i said apologetically.

"it's fine lucy" noah reassured. "yeah i would've preferred to go out with my boyfriend on my anniversary but you're my friend and you're practically chris' sister which means you take priority over any date. we can make up for our date any time, we only have one chance to be here for you" he smiled as he patted my leg.

"shit noah, i don't think i've ever seen you be this nice" we all laughed lightly.

"sweetheart we're going to run some errands and let you be alone with your friends, we'll be back soon." my mum said.

"okay mum, take josh with you please. he shouldn't be here." i said.

my mum nodded and walked out of the room with my dad and josh.

"it could be worse, my mum used to know a girl that died because of not eating." maxxie said.

"just fuck off maxxie. I hate that mental disorders have turned into a competition. i can't even sit in a hospital bed without you saying someone had it worse. every god damn time i even come close to wanting to reach out to you i knew there was no point because in your eyes i would've never been sick enough. there's always someone worse off. you have no idea how much a problem affects a person because, okay it might seem like nothing to you but to them their entire world is breaking down and they just have to wait till they either figure it out on their own, or become so sick that people can't deny it any more. and by then it's usually too late. you're such an asshole maxxie, i can't believe i ever dated you." i spat at him.

"i think you should leave" cassie said to him.

"and never come back" noah added.

"fine, i never liked you assholes anyway. fuck you all." he walked up to the door and just before he opened it he turned around. i knew he was going to say something rude or disrespectful. "oh and lucy, you're still too fat to have an eating disorder." he winked at me before walking out the door.

"i'm going to fucking kill that dick faced bell end!" chris said through gritted teeth as noah and cassie held him against a chair.

"that's the problem isn't it" they all turned to me "some words hit you like a tree branch slapping you in the face. and some words rip into your flesh, leaving scars so deep, they never completely fade. it always seems that the ones who once meant the most to you are the ones who leave the scars."

:-)