teenagers

0.2

i sat on that bench for two hours before i finally went home.

i didn't want to go home though, it's not because i hated my family - i loved them to the moon and back - it's because there was so much food.

"lucy guess what!" my little brother josh said excitedly as soon as i walked through the door.

"what's up kiddo" i said, giggling at the over excited child.

"mummy and daddy took me to the park and we got ice cream and i played on the swings and i met a fluffy dog and we fed the ducks!" he said, jumping in excitement.

"wow that sounds amazing josh" i said as i picked him up.

he was quite small for a six year old so it was easy to carry him around.

"hey mum, hey dad, what's up" i said as i walked into the kitchen with josh still in my arms, grabbing an apple since the fast was getting too much for me.

"not much, i'm cooking lasagna for dinner" my mum answered.

"i've called dibs on the biggest part" my dad said to josh in a joking voice.

"i want the biggest part" josh complained.

"only big boys get the big part of dinner joshy" my dad said as he poked josh's nose.

"that's not fair. i'm a big boy. tell him i'm a big boy lucy" i laughed at the small pout that had settled on josh's face.

"you're a very big boy josh" i said as i put him down.

"how was it at maxxie's?" my mum asked.

"it was great, we ate chocolate and played truth or dare" i said, missing out the part where maxxie found out i was anorexic and walked away from me.

i felt my phone buzz in my pocket. i took it out and saw cassie's name on my lock screen.

"one sec cass is calling me" i said before i walked out of the kitchen so i could answer the phone.

"hey lucy"

"hi cass"

"maxxie spoke to me" she said sadly.

"what'd he say?" i asked, trying to sound clueless.

"you know what he said. is it true lucy?" i sighed, first he leaves me alone and crying in a park, then he tells cassie everything.

"yes okay. it's true. anything else" i snapped.

"are you okay?"

"of course."

"are you lying?"

"of course"

"why do you do it lucy? you're beautiful and smart and you have an amazing boyfriend" i scoffed at her words.

"i'm fat cass. that's why i do it. i don't eat but when i do i throw it up. i excersize daily to burn extra calories. all so that i can feel beautiful. max is part of the reason why i do it and if he was so amazing why did he leave me to cry alone in a park as soon as he found out, huh?"

"i'm gonna kill him the next time i see him. and lucy, you're not fat so please stop thinking you are. if you want to be fit there are other ways. there are healthy ways."

"i'm happy with how i chose to do this cass. can we please just leave it at that."

"how much do you weigh lucy?"

"that's irreleva-"

"how much do you weigh?" she said in a much sterner way.

"110 pounds."

"that's too little."

"bye cass" i said as i hung up.

i refused to have my best friend judge me for my choices. i let out an annoyed grunt before walking back into the kitchen.

"what did cassie want?" my mum asked.

"oh she wanted to know what the history homework was" i lied.

"lucy can you play trucks with me" josh said while looking up at me.

"i think dinner's going to be ready soon so we can play after little man" i said, scruffing up his hair.

"pinky promise?" he said, raising his pinky.

"pinky promise" i said and i linked mt pinky with his.

"how much do you want lucy?" my mum asked.

"not too much, i ate a lot at maxxie's" i answered with yet another lie.

"okay sweetheart. go help your dad set the table." i nodded before grabbing knives and forks and putting them in their place.

a few minutes later my mum came out with our dinner. she placed them in front of us and they all dug in.

you only need to eat a small bit. they think you ate loads earlier so you haven't got to finish. a few bites and you can be done.

"i'm done" i said as i stood up with my plate.

"but you barely ate" my dad said.

"I told you, i ate a lot at maxxie's house so i'm not hungry." i replied.

"oh okay honey, make sure you throw the food in the right bin and you rinse your plate"

"yes sir"

i walked into the kitchen and disposed of the calories before putting my plate into the dishwasher.

time to workout. i walked up to my room and did my daily workout. when i finished i heard a tiny knock at the door.

"come in" i called.

a small head looked around my room before walking in fully. josh sat next to me on my bed and looked up at me.

"can we play trucks now?" he asked.

"let me have a shower so that i'm not all sweaty and gross then we'll play trucks alright?"

"okay" he said cheerfully.

"go get your trucks and set them up in here so that it's ready for when i'm done"

i didn't get a reply because he had already gone to collect his trucks.

i walked into the bathroom and stripped off my clothes. i'm 5'5 so the average weight is about 135 pounds, but that is way too much.

i turned the shower on and stepped in, loving the way the hot water hit my skin. i spent twenty minutes cleaning myself and relaxing before i got out and wrapped a towel around myself.

when i got to my room i was greeted with five toy trucks and a smiling six year old.

"josh go into your room for a couple minutes so that i can change and i'll call you in when i'm done." i said kindly.

"okay" he smiled as he walked out of my room.

i grabbed my black leggings and a panic! at the disco top and put them on over my underwear, i then slipped on my fluffy socks before calling josh back into my room.

"let's play trucks"

:-)