52. (BoyxBoy)

Page 33.

Chapter 52.
 
 "Aiden, please. Don't go."

"OK, then."

"Really?" Matt was confused at the simplicity.

"Kiss me."

Matt looked around him, awkwardly, analysing the large numbers of people bustling around them. "OK, just not here."

"No," Aiden said. "Here."

"But there's people watching!" Matt was shocked at the suggestion.

"Exactly. Bye, Matt," he picked himself up and showed his ticket to the guard, who let him into the platform. Matt ran quickly after.

"Listen, you can't go. You can't leave. I need you. You can't go!"

"Why?"

"You know why!" Matt whispered forcibly.

"My train's here in two minutes, Matt," Aiden stated, seemingly undisturbed.

"If you'd have been there, at all, you would understand."

"I if were where? I was there all the time - it's always been you and me and you know that!"

"No, Matt. You might have been there physically, but not mentally."

"What the hell is that meant to mean? I came out for you! I lost all my mates! My parents threw me out, dammit!"

"You came out for yourself. I hope you have a lovely life, you deserve it. Your parents will take you back in, they're nice people, and to be honest, who wants friends like those anyway?"

"I fucking do! They were my friends, for God sake!"

"Bye Matt."

"No, Aiden, I didn't mean it, come back, please?!"Both their eyes were filled with tears, and Aiden's face was drenched,

"I'll miss you, Matty." Aiden reached out his hand, and lightly stroked Matt’s face. He wiped away the tears on Matt’s face with his fingers. “Don’t cry.”

Matt looked up at Aiden, his wet eyes still shining with love. The two boys embraced, and held each other tighter than ever. Matt’s head was buried deep into Aiden’s shirt, and he could have stayed like that forever. The feeling of human skin so close was a beautiful feeling. The intimacy between them could not be denied, and Matt couldn’t do that anymore. Never had he felt so much love run through his veins. It pumped around his body, at an unbelievable rate. It was so natural, and so beautiful. Maybe this really was what love felt. It could be defined in one moment: one moment when nothing in the world matters; one moment when no matter how much you have to feel sad about, you can’t even think about any of it, because the person you love is in your arms.

It had only lasted a matter of minutes, but it had seemed like a lifetime. Gently, Aiden tried to pull away, but Matt tugged back. He’d stopped crying now, but he was still a snivelling mess. “Don’t leave me.”

"Kiss me then. Here, in public, kiss me,” Aiden screamed, soaked in tears.

Matt shrugged, scraping his shoe across the floor, and staring down. He couldn’t do it. It was just something he couldn’t do. He wanted to, sure, but he couldn’t. It was a battle between his heart and every other part of his body.

"No, wait."

Aiden shrugged, as the train pulled up.

"I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU FUCKING TWAT!" Matt yelled, dripping wet with tears.

Aiden looked back at Matt, and smiled. A genuine smile, both corners of his mouth were wide apart and his eyes creased up and glittered. Matt thought he was going to run back, just for a split second.
 
But he didn't. Aiden got on the train, instead.
 

He died 52 minutes later: the train crashed.
 
Matt got married to a woman, had three children and made his parents proud. He died aged 52. No one knew how he died. Suicide was never ruled out. Nobody ever spoke of that time when, 'you know, that time when he used to be gay'.