I Can't

Will I see you again?

"Hey, Sara, it's me again. I don't know what your Mom and I did to you that's so horrible to deserve this treatment from you, I really don't. We tried explaining to you so many times and you completely shunned us away. When we came in hope to see you and we found only Todd, he told us what's going on and that... that you kind of... disowned me as your Dad... Well, if Don's better at it, there's nothing I can do. I'm just calling to say that your mother is still so very upset as I am, but we love you and we always will. I doubt we'll be bothering you too much now, because the doctor admitted your Mom to hospital, to keep a close eye on her, since the due date is so close. I can't be sure if you care or if you are going to listen to this at all, but... We miss you so much, Sara. We love you."

The message from Lindsey ended and Sara stood, slightly shaken up by how vulnerable he sounded, how hopeless his voice seemed to be. She wasn't sure why she decided to listen to the entire message, since she mostly deleted every single one from any member of her family, suddenly realizing just how much she had been missing out on. She was going to have another little sibling soon and before Lindsey's call, Sara had completely forgotten about it.

Shaking herself mentally in hope to move on to doing whatever it was she was going to do earlier, Sara turned around to walked out of the kitchen, but there she saw Todd. "What?" She asked him sharply. 

"That did nothing to you?" He questioned back, feeling for weeks now that he'd been living with a totally different woman than the one he fell in love with. "Sara, I have never before heard your father sound so weak. Can't you tell how much he misses you?"

"I'll be on my way." She ignored him, trying to move past Todd, but he grabbed her by the arm. "Let me go!"

"No! Not until you come out of this state you're in!"

"I'm in no state, I now simply know the whole truth! I know who my father is and if you excuse me, I'm going to go get ready to see him."

"He's not your father dammit!" Todd yelled. "How can you say that? You barely know him, Sara! You're so focused on hating your parents that you're becoming... delusional, that's the only word I can think of!"

"I know enough about my Dad."

"You say your mother hurt you, but what you're doing now... I can only imagine how she's feeling and your father too. Your father, the man who raised you, took care of you and loved you. They shouldn't be worrying about you, about your... your childish stubbornness right now, they should be getting excited, anxiously awaiting the arrival of their baby, but you are ruining it for them! And it's all because of what? Because of the absolute right thing your mother did, while taking into consideration your best interest?" Starting to giving up himself, Todd let go of her, shaking his head. "I honestly don't know you anymore. Go. Go and meet with your father." Using air quotes for the last word, he added. "I only hope he's all you're imagining him to be."

"Todd..."

"No, Sara. I've had enough of this fantasy you're living in. I hate to do this, because I love you, but I can't be around you right now. I can't. So... I'm going to go away, spend some time apart from you."

Her eyes brimmed with tears as she swallowed uneasily, now truly only having Don left out of everyone she had just a couple of months ago. 

Later the same day, Sara was at the usual place where she and Don would meet, a small cafe, which was almost of equal distance for them both. She arrived too early this time, already taking a sip from the second cup of coffee, while waiting. Thankfully, Don entered not much later, smiling while coming towards her. She stood up and hugged him tightly, needing all the support in the world at the moment.

"Well hello to you too." 

"I'm sorry, I'm not having the best of days." Sara said, pulling back as they sat down. 

"Why's that?"

"Just..." Sighing, she shrugged her shoulders. "It's..."

"Come on, tell me."

"Dad called." It was the first time she referred to Lindsey like that in some time. "Saying how he and Mom are upset and they miss me and they love me... He said Mom's in hospital, because she's having the baby soon." Sniffling, she somehow couldn't meet Don's eyes, as if she wasn't supposed to share this with him. "I was going to ignore it, but Todd apparently stood behind me and heard the message, asking me if I'm not going to do anything about it. He then said that I'm the one who's hurting people and that... that he can't go on this way any longer... He... he needs a break from being with me." Crying, she reached for a paper napkin. 

Taking a moment, Don sighed, speaking up. "And he's right. You are hurting them, most of all your mother. All our differences aside, she's a wonderful woman and I know she's the most amazing Mom to you and your brother and sister. Lindsey... I can't say I like him, but he's done one hell of a job raising you and I will forever be thankful. He is your Dad, Sara."

"No. No!" Shaking her head, she wanted to say more, but Don didn't let her.

"I haven't been honest with you. At all... Whatever your mother has told you, it's probably all true. I'm not a good man. I was horrible to her and I'm being horrible to you now too, because I'm lying trough my teeth. All I've told you about wanting a second chance with your Mom... that's not true. I never wanted anything like that. But... When I finally got to meet you after so many years... I realized I wanted to have some sort of relationship with you and going against Stevie's word, I thought, was my only option. Which it wasn't. I should have told you the real story and let you decide whether you wanted to get to know me. Forget everything I said, because it was all a lie. I'm sorry." He finished, his own eyes filled with tears, as he had grown attached to Sara over this short period of time. 

"So, you're saying that all this pain I've caused my parents was for nothing? You weren't actually trying to get back together with Mom? That you agree with her going to my Dad, when you pushed her away?" Shocked and confused asked Sara.

Don simply nodded, feeling ashamed; not an emotion he felt often. 

"My God..." She said almost inaudibly. "Why would you do something like that?"

"Because it's how I am, I guess. But I mean it, saying I wanted to be in your life and I do. The question is if you want me to be in it as well."

"I don't know what I want right now." Shaking her head, Sara stood up, grabbing her bag. "I have to go."

"Will I see you again?"

"I... I don't know. I don't know..." She repeated and left, tears blurring her vision, the only thing on her mind being Stevie and how much she'd done to hurt her, not the other way around, like Sara had been claiming.