Bandits-Marauders era

Black what?

Plum

I bury my nose into J.R.R. Tolkiens masterpiece, The Lord of The Rings. I've lost count of how many times I've read it. Somewhere in the low hundreds. My book is snatched away. I pull out my wand and without saying a word, Black's on the ground next to my book.

"Omigosh are you ok?!" I cry, running towards the heap. 

"Yeah, I'm fine," Black answers. I scowl.

"I was talking to my book, Black. I would ask if you're ok, but I don't really give a shit," I pick up my book and walk back over to my bean bag chair. 

"I bet you're fun at parties" he grumbles. I turn on my heel.

"Please, Black. Have you ever even been to a proper party? In the Slytherin common room?" I scoff.

"Why on Earth would I go in there? Slytherins are evil freaks," He spits. Someone takes my big, heavy, leather bound, beautiful copy of LoTR, and hit him upside the head with it. I look up to see Lav. She then proceeds to grab my hand and saunter around Black, now in a crumpled heap on the floor. 

"I heard that choo was talkin shit and you didn't think that I would hear it!" We sing as we dance around a slightly dazed Black. I kneel in front of him, lifting his chin and bringing my face close to his.

"Insult my house again, Black. Dare ya." I snarl. He squeaks and tries to get up, which results in Lavs foot in between his shoulder blades. He is forced down, his hair swishing majestically and I catch a glimpse of the back of his head and burst out laughing. 

"You're free to go, Black. But let me tell you, insulting my house is stupid of you. And touching my, book, for that you will pay." He looks puzzled for a second.

"You will pay for touching my book" I clarify. Dimwit.

Lavender

Black touched Plums book. And insulted Slytherin house. I call everyone into the common room. I use the charm that doesn't get Lily, they're kinda her friends so if she told the Marauders, oof. 

"Black took Plums book and called Slytherins evil freaks. Violet?"

"Opal has a plan. We need some fish scales, a paintbrush, and a can of meat sauce."

"Oh, so it's gonna be easy. Am, get the meat sauce and brush. Violet, go with Plum and get the scales from the kitchens."

"One more thing we need. A way into Gryffindor dorms or commons." 

"Hmm, let's see, the ways in are the Fat Lady, the chimney, and the windows." 

"Floo?" 

"Duh. Meet back here after you got the fish scales."