Late Summer Rain

Teardrops That Run Red

CHAPTER TEN ~*~*~ Teardrops That Run Red

I didn’t understand any of the stuff they said to me even though they explained it over and over. Ryan’s mom rubbed my back just inside the hospital room, as if trying to make me feel better, but her expressions and her teary eyes didn’t help. “Dannie,” she called to me gently. “Ryan has terminal brain cancer.”

I stumbled back, shaking my head, laughing. “You’re kidding me right?” I looked from her to Ryan, who was now awake, sitting on his hospital bed with a weary expression on his face. “Stop it guys! This has got to be the worst joke ever!” I felt tears rolling down my face. “I don’t get it. It doesn’t make any sense to me. It’s not possible!”

Ryan’s mom held me in her arms. “I’m so sorry,” she cried. “I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you earlier.” And I couldn’t even get mad at her with the way she was holding me, the way her tears made my hair damp. “As a mother, I just wanted so badly for Ryan to live like a normal boy while he still could. I just wanted him to be happy. I’m so sorry. You don’t deserve this.”

I blinked back the tears and though my voice sounded so distant, heard myself speak. “It doesn’t matter.” I looked up into her eyes. “He’ll get better right?” I clenched onto her arm. “Right?”

The silence was so painful after that.

Ryan got up and walked slowly towards me. “No Dannie.” His voice was calm and his face lit with a soft smile, like it didn’t matter to him anymore, like he had already given up, accepted it. “I’m going to die.”

“No!” I screamed. “No, you’re not. You lair, you’re not! You’re not! I’m not going to listen!”

I ran out of the room. It wasn’t true. They were all lying to me. Why would Ryan die? Why would they take him away from me after I had fallen madly in love with him? Wasn’t that just too cruel?

My feet kept running and I wasn’t sure when I eventually stopped, but when I started to notice my surroundings I was in a garden of tall, well-trimmed bushes outside the hospital building. Ryan had chased after me from his room and was a couple of short metres behind me. He called my name softly, walking towards me hesitantly, trying to make me feel better like he always did.

But who was going to make me feel better once he was gone?

 

“Dannie, I’m sorry. I didn’t want it to be this way.” He looked at me longingly. “I wanted to tell you a long time ago, but I didn’t know how to say it. I didn’t want to get too close to you, but I did. I didn’t want to fall in love with you because I was dying, but I couldn’t help myself. I never wanted it this way either!” Tears surfaced to his eyes.

“You know I haven’t cried since I was a kid,” I said sobbing. “But then you walk into my life and take me on an emotional rollercoaster ride. Congratulations Ryan, for being the only person in this world that can make me cry. Now just stop it! Make this pain go away! Please take it away!”

He stood there paralyzed, shaking his head. “I never meant for it to end like this,” he said. “I never meant to cause you pain and I never meant to make you cry. This isn’t what I wanted for us. I’m sorry.” He held out his arms and I quickly ran into them, drowning my sobs and cries into his chest.