Hiding the Truth (One Piece)

Chapter 30 - Heart to Heart

Lana's POV

A week has passed since we'd left Thriller Bark, and to be honest, I didn't know if I was glad or just plain disappointed that the events that played out there, happened the way they did. Having seen someone from my past really had done a number on me, so the moment I'd stepped onto the Sunny, I'd locked myself in my room, not wanting to interact with the others just yet. It was mortifying to face my crewmembers, especially when the last thing they'd seen was the little spat I'd had with Chopper. 

So far, they'd seemed to respect my wishes. Whilst they managed to not ignore me, they were willing to give me my own space. Sanji had made sure that a small tray of food was left at my door noon and night, with Nami and Robin dropping a pile of books in hopes I would have some entertainment in my self-induced isolation. It wasn't hard to notice the frustration they were feeling with the days that passed, hearing Luffy come to my door on more than one occasion to try and speak with me, before being pushed away by whoever was nearby to leave me be.

It was difficult to come to terms with the fact that I'd been left to live, but the idea that I was once again on the World Government's radar was daunting to think of. The anxiety was less to do with myself and more for the troubles my issues would cause for the crew. I knew my childish sulking would have to stop, if I was going to take responsibility for my actions and make a choice. Either I left the crew, which I imagined wouldn't go well with the others, or I...

To be honest, I wasn't willing to think of that option just yet. Whilst I was willing to fall in battle and for the sake of someone I cared for, the choice of willingly ending everything was something I knew I was too cowardly to go through with. 

Whilst I'd isolated myself to my room during the day, I was free to leave at night time, when everyone had gone to bed. This also included our notorious nightguard Zoro, who'd always deemed it appropriate to sleep during his designated duty. It was approaching midnight when I'd left the safety of my room, still wideawake from the numerous naps I would take during the day. The grass-covered deck was bathed in the moon's rays, the ship gently swaying with the good weather we'd been temporarily graced with on the temperamental waters of the Grand Line. Taking a seat on the railing, my feet dangling precariously over the side of the ship, I gazed out onto the gentle waters, the moon's ray lighting the dark waters so they appeared more blue than black. 

The only thing the peace and quiet gave was an opportunity to wallow in my own thoughts. The encounter on Thriller Bark constantly running through my mind, wishing I had watched my tongue so I could have avoided all this mess. Too preoccupied to notice the light footsteps approaching, I was surprised when a hand ran through my hair, ruffling the short strands lightly. 

"Awake from the dead I see?" Nami climbed onto the railing to sit beside me, resting her arm over my shoulders as she turned her gaze to the sea. It was too late to turn back, not when Nami refused to drop her grip, making me think this encounter was more pre-meditated than accidental. 

"Hey. What brings you out here at this time of night?" I asked, my eyes still focused on the reflected surface of the sea. A soft chuckle was my response, her hand pulling at a strand of honey brown hair as she still refused to look away from the gentle waves. 

"I could ask you the same thing" We continued sitting in silence. Whilst it wasn't heavy, the silence was becoming stifling until I couldn't stop the words from tumbling out.

"I know what you all must be thinking" From the corner of my eye I could see Nami had turned her attention to me, but I continued to avoid her gaze, my eyes still trained on the smooth motions of the sea.

"Back... on Thriller Bark, I admit I thought it would have been better if I died" Nami opened her mouth to quickly retaliate, but I held my hand in a motion to stop, "Let me finish", she nodded to signal she would let me continue speaking, though it was obvious it was difficult for her to hold her words.