It’s cold on the patio, but I don’t really care. I flop in a chair, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. The lawns sweep majestically downwards, and from here I can see the sun rise over the city, the harsh skyline of the skyscrapers broken only by the leafless skeletons of the trees in the park. The sun dyes the sky a rosy pink, blending into a soft lilac. I hold Diana, bouncing her up and down, and sing to her softly as she gurgles.
“Hush little baby, don’t you cry,
Everything’s gonna be alright.
Stiffen that upper lip up little lady, I told ya,
Mummy’s here to hold you through the night.
I know daddy’s not here right now
And we don’t know why,
We feel how we feel inside,
It may seem a little crazy, pretty baby,
But I promise mummy’s gonna be alright”
“You never told me you could sing” Cheryl stands behind me, resting her hands on my shoulders. At her touch I look round, smiling at her. She’s undoubtedly sexy when she’s sleepy, her hair curls naturally, and it’s slightly tousled, her eyes blink slowly like a baby, spreading her long lashes over her cheeks. She also doesn’t bother with actual clothes, currently she’s wearing a camouflage print cardigan over a tiny pink silk playsuit with lace panels down the back, and on her feet she’s wearing slippers.
“You never told me you had a pool” with my free hand I point to the other side of the lawn, where a long swimming pool is surrounded by paving and sun loungers.
“It’s too cold for swimming”
“Yeah, it is cold. You should go put some clothes on.”
“Nah,” she drops into the chair opposite to me, hugging her legs and wrapping her cardigan around herself like a blanket, “I can’t be arsed to go upstairs.”
“Did I wake you?” I ask as she yawns widely.
She nods her tousled little head “but it’s okay, I have to get up anyway. I got work today, but I can drop Sacha off at school on me way?”
“Alright” I smile at her, and she smiles back, squinting her eyes and wrinkling her nose.
“You’re very pretty Kim” she said. I just laugh at her. “No, really, you’re very pretty”
I want to tell her that I was thinking exactly the same about her. But I don’t. I just laugh again “are you feeling okay? Do you want me to ring anyone? A doctor-”
“Kiiiim...” she sticks her middle finger up at me, poking her tongue out. I pretend to be shocked and cover Diana’s eyes, making her gurgle.
“Auntie Cheryl is a bad role model Di, don’t grow up to be like her” I say, kissing the top of Diana’s head
“Kimberley, don’t say that about Cheryl!” Sacha is stood in the doorway, already dressed in her school uniform of a black pleated skirt and red jumper, but still holding her teddy bear to her chest.
Cheryl raises her eyebrows, giggling and rubbing her eyes. “At least somebody loves me” she says to Sacha, holding out her arms for a hug. “Did you sleep good?” Cheryl asks her
“Yeah, I had this dream about flying, and I could just fly like a bird, up and up into the sky. By the end I was floating right next to the stars, so close I could have just reached out and touched them”
“I think I need a coffee” Cheryl mumbles, holding her head in her hands.
“Do you wanna hold baby?” I ask, holding Diana out to her
Cheryl sucks in her cheeks, making her already to-die-for cheekbones look even more defined, and cocks her head to one side “are you sure you trust me?”
I laugh and pass her the baby “here you go.” I can’t help but smile sadly as Cheryl holds the baby, looking into my daughter’s eyes. Cheryl touches Diana’s nose softly, then strokes her cheek.
“Good morning beautiful baby” she murmurs softly.
I close my eyes for a moment, and the image of the blood, Cheryl’s blood, staining the white bathroom tiles creeps back into my mind. I bite my lips and shake my head sadly, before going inside to make her a coffee.
I don’t want to think about his fists meeting the soft skin of her stomach, his feet colliding with her ribs. I don’t want to think about how he left her, broken and bleeding, on the floor.
Her laboured breathing, the tears cascading down her cheeks, her fingernails scrabbling on the surgically clean tiles. Her bruised ribs and swollen face would heal. The tears would dry on their own. The pain. The guilt. All the things in her head, could they be fixed?
