Freak Show

ten

I resurface from the depths of unconciousness to the sounds of someone talking. My eyes strain in the darkness, and I hear the voice again, this time the voice registers as Grayson's.

"No. No, no, no. NO," he's saying, jerking in his sleep. I climb up from the couch, careful to not bend my back to avoid any unnecissary pain, and slowly begin to walk toward where he's sleeping in a pile of blankets on the floor. We both decided to let Aphrodite sleep in the bed, but with all the noise Grayson is making, she's beginning to stir. I hurry over to him, crouch beside him, and softly shush him.

I run my fingers through his hair softly, saying, "Shh, it's okay. You're okay." and slowly, he moves his head into my lap and hugs my torso. He stills and I continue rubbing his head and lulling him to sleep for what seems like a very long time.

It's odd to see Grayson so vulnerable. He likes to put on the tough guy act, but I think he's suffering worse than I am. He thinks I don't notice how he gives me more food than he gets; he's getting skinnier. Manson doesn't feed us enough. Perhaps there isn't enough to feed us with, perhaps he's just stingy.

While Grayson is asleep in my lap, I notice the protrusions from the backs of his shirt. He's wearing a dirty button down and there are noticable raises in the fabrics under his shirt, just over his... oh, god. Just over his shoulder blades. I cringe and feel my lungs filling with air deflating and filling again, but I wish they wouldn't. Somehow it's harder to stomach what happened to the both of us, knowing that I'm not the only one.

I vow to myself, then, that I will make sure Grayson gets out of here. Even if I don't, he will. It was the only thing I had left to fight for. I didn't have it in me to fight for myself anymore. There probably wasn't anyone looking for me; I wouldn't be missed in my absence from home. My parents had probably just assumed I had 'ran away' again and would be home in a few days.

Why was I always so terrible to my parents? Sure, they were annoying and overprotective, but they loved me. And I loved them. Half of my time spent at home, I wasn't really at home. My parents just thought I was. Before my freshman year had even began, I had already perfected the art of sneaking out. I usually snuck out to hang out with people I didn't even care about, drink gross beer, and talk about stuff I didn't want to talk about. Honestly, I don't know why I did those things, or why I was that person. I suppose the easy answer would be to say I did it to look cool, or becuase I had nothing else to do. But the truth? It was somewhere among the lines of self destruction and wanting to grow up too fast.

And then I think of Aphrodite across the room, so innocent, and wonder why I ever wanted to grow up at all. 

I think of how she's so young and so innocent. She has had her childhood and any chance of a normal life yanked from her grasp so early on in life that it absolutely shatters my heart. I wonder for the millionth time how she fits into all of this mess. Was she kidnapped too? At what age? 

I want nothing more than to wrap her up and take her somewhere safe and do my absolute best to ensure that no one ever harms her again. I will get Grayson and Aphrodite out of here. I will.