The JC chronicles (PUBLISHED - PINK AND PURPLE)

11. A taste of the past

June 02, 2002

Dear Heart,

18th birthday ko, at the same time, late celebration ng monthsary naming ni JC. I was really excited the whole day kasi I was expecting him. Ang sabi niya sa akin may surpresa siya sa akin. He said that he’ll give me the best gift ever. Naisip ko tuloy kung may mas best pa kaysa sa pagmamahal at atensyon na ibinibigay sa akin ng perfect man ko.

At 2:00 pm, nag-ayos na ako. I took my mini bag and put some overnight clothes in it. Alam ko naman kasi na magsasama kami ngayon, monthsary naming, birthday ko pa, ang saya lang. At 4 pm, excited na akong naghihintay sa kanya, 4:30 pm, wala pa rin siya. I was looking at the wall clock, 30 minutes na siyang late, pero alam kong darating siya. Hindi niya ko ile-let down ngayon. Special day naming dalawa. I know he’ll come like what he promised.

 

But then, two hours later, wala pa rin siya at umiiyak na ako sa tabi ng pintuan dahil alam ko, hindi na ako sisiputin ng boyfriend ko. I decided to go to his house. I want to know, I wanna give him the benefit of the doubt, baka naman kasi may sakit siya, o baka nakalimutan na naman niya. So I walked, I went to his home only to find him outside their mansion, groping some other girl.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mas una kong dapat maramdaman, uunahin ko ba ang galit? Uunahin ko bang masaktan o uunahin kong maawa sa sarili ko dahil kilala ko kung sino ang babaeng kasama niya. Sadly, it was my sister Rose. I stood there as JC gives my little sister an open mouthed kiss, at si Rose naman, sinasagot niya ang bawat halik ni Jacinto. Ang sakit-sakit. Hindi ko na kinaya. I yelled at them, I called them, traydor. I cannot believe that my sister could do that to me. Alam naman niya na mahal na mahal ko si Jacinto. Alam niya na may relasyon kami pero anong ginawa niya? When is she going to stop chasing after the things I want?

But to my surprise, JC apologized. Tinanggap niya lahat ng masasakit na salitang sinabi ko sa kanya. He said that he deserves all of that. At ang pinakamasakit, he said na nakipaglapit lang siya sa akin para kay Rose. Si Rose ang mahal niya, si Rose ang gusto niya. I was so hurt, I feel like my heart was slowly dying. My sister and my boyfriend…

Rose and JC…

Isinuko ko kay JC ang lahat. Ang puso ko, ang buong pagkatao ko, ang kaluluwa ko, tapos sasabihin niya sa akin na ang kapatid ko ang dahilan ng lahat ng iyon…

Ang sakit-sakit… sobrang sakit…

 

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“Alexis…”

Ngiti ang isinagot sa akin ng babaeng nakaupo sa swing. As usual, she was wearing that DC cap on her head, a long sleeve shirt and a pair of sira-sitang pants. She stood up and took her skate board with her.  I saw her while I was walking home from school that day. Matapos ang nangyari sa amin ni JC, hindi na naging normal ang takbo ng buhay ko. Rose acts as if ako ang may nagawang mali sa kanya. Yes, JC and her are now official at dahil alam sa buong university na ako ang girlfriend niya, ganoon na lang ang awang nararamdaman nila para sa akin. I don’t want their pitty. Isang bagay lang ang gusto ko at hindi ko na makukuha iyon.

“Ate Luna!” She greeted me with that wide smile. Nilapitan niya ako at saka niyakap. Alam ko na agad kung para saan ang yakap na iyon. Alexis was one of JC’s closest friends. They go from way, way back. Alam kong alam na rin niya ang nangyari but I didn’t come to her for that.

“Belated Happy birthday!” Pinilit ko siyang ngitian. Sabay kami ng birthday ni Alexis, she turned seventeen two days ago, I turned eighteen and I also got my heart torn into a million pieces.