Fighting the Stars - A Jack Harries Fanficton

Chapter 13

When I woke to the beeping of the alarm I had set on my phone, I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and made my way to the bathroom. I turned the sink on, I was surprised when the water I thought would be hot against my face was actually ice cold. I guess I’d forgotten that when our water was put in they accidentally switched the knobs in my bathroom.

I also began to remember how the third stair from the bottom always creaked due to a loose nail that was never repaired. Or how the door to the guest room never seemed to shut right because the frame was made two centimeters too wide.

Sure, our house looked perfect on the outside. It was perfectly maintained with expensive landscaping and the brickwork cost more than my university tuition. But I guess that’s the thing about houses, just because they look neat and perfect on the outside, doesn’t mean they’re the same way on the inside.

**

James and my father had gone out for lunch to talk business, leaving Mum and I at home. I was actually glad to have some alone time with my mother. There were so many things I needed to tell her.

I poked at the salad she had prepared to me as we sat across from each other at our smaller kitchen table. We hardly used the dinning room unless we had guests. We always had to put on a show for those who didn’t know what life here was actually like.

“Are things better?” I asked. “With you and Dad?”

Her eyes flickered up at me, the same way they used to when I’d ask for money to go to the mall with friends or when I’d confess to getting bad marks in school. She let out a calm breath and mixed her salad together more than necessary.

“Work has kept him busy,” she stated in a simple tone.

“That’s good,” I said, continuing to poke at my salad as well. I just wasn’t feeling up to eating. There was a brief moment of silence before the question that I could feel coming.

“And you and James?”

My stomach twisted in a knot and tears threatened the back of my eyes as my mind coursed all the hell he’s put me through. I swallowed the lump rising in my throat before I could force out words. But even then, none came. That was all the answer my mother needed.

“Honey, let me see.” she said, keeping her voice soft. I never told her that James is violent with me, but she always knew. It’s easy to tell an abusive relationship when you’re in one yourself.

I rolled up my sleeve to reveal the hardly noticeable bruises that were close to healing. She scanned my wrist and glanced up at me. She knew there was more. Reluctantly, I slipped off my jacket to expose the cuts on my arm from where James had shoved me into the mirror.

“And the ones on you face?” she asked, pushing back my bangs with her index finger.

“He clawed me,” I confessed. I felt so weak, so vulnerable telling the truth to someone. I was embarrassed. I wish I could stand up for myself, but I don’t know how. I know that Mum didn’t know what to do either, so she did what she knew best; she hugged me. As I cried into her shoulder I felt all the pain that’s built up over the years explode through my body.

I hated this. I hated myself. How could I let someone do this to me? I of all people should know better.

“I’m trapped, Mum.” I stated. And it was a fact. A cold, hard, fact.

“I know, sweetie, but you don’t have to be.” she said, keeping her hands on my shoulders.

“I have no choice,” I said, more tears spilling into my untouched salad.