Guy watched the candle flame dancing, and thought back over all the events that had occurred since the snow had swept him to Hindelford Manor.
He looked around at his room bleakly. Hours of talking business with Vasey had left him feeling tired to the bone and the wine had not brought him the oblivion for which he longed.
How would he get through tomorrow, watching Katherine standing by the side of that huge sweating b*****d at the altar? Seeing Gifford turn to her at the end of the service and fix his mouth on hers? Guy rose quickly and walked over to the bed and stood looking down at it.
There you go again, thinking about how you’re going to survive watching it, but how is Katherine going to cope with doing it?
What if they had to drag her down into the Chapel? Panic bloomed in Guy as it suddenly occurred to him that Vasey might make him do that, it would appeal to his perverted sense of humour.
He sat down on the bed and looked at the floor. Then he got up again and went back to sit in the chair. He turned his attention to the candle again and started to pick at the soft wax that had dripped down the side.
He should probably try to sleep, there would be so much to do tomorrow, but the thought of lying down and closing his eyes did not appeal. Then it was even harder to keep the thoughts at bay, then images of Katherine scared and being destroyed bit by bit at Hindelford crept into his mind and would not go away.
He got up once more and opened the door, and then closed it again and came back to the chair.
‘Think of something different, concentrate on something good,’ he urged himself and he tried to force his mind to focus on what he could do with the new land that had been given to him. He thought too of the bag of coins Vasey had given him tonight, telling him there had been an unexpected payment from a grateful recipient of Vasey's largesse.
Both Guy and Vasey knew it was a further sop to keep Guy sweet and under control tomorrow. He reached for the bag and bounced it up and down in his hand. It was satisfyingly heavy; he could buy a great many luxuries with its contents.
At this precise moment he couldn't think of one of them that he wanted.
‘You're a fool Gisborne,’ he told himself, ‘she wasn't going to have you anyway,’ but his treacherous mind thought back to the night he had lain with her, the distinctive perfume of her hair, the warmth of her skin against his.
He thought too of how being with her made him feel tantalisingly close to intense and exciting possibilities.
And his mind gnawed away at every little detail of that last meeting in the garden; something had shifted between them, he was sure he had seen it in her eyes.
He sighed and tried to dredge up some anger towards her. It would not come. Suddenly even her meeting with Hood seemed unimportant. He could not dislike her for the way she had treated him. She had never toyed with him, never given him false hope or misled him in order to gain kinder treatment for herself. No, she had never been anything other than cruelly honest with him and despite that he still loved her. Or was it because of that? He did not know.
Will I still be a scheming black spider to her? Is that how she will remember me when she is at Hindelford and I am here?
That last image seemed so sad to him that he rose to his feet yet again and walked aimlessly around the room.
If he lay down he would not sleep, but if he did sleep when he awoke then it would be her wedding day.
Panic was rising in him now. He needed to get out of this room, get away from the castle. He picked up his sword and his jacket. Moments later he was making his way, in the darkness, to the stables. He kicked the stable boy awake, and together they prepared his horse.
He would ride out until morning, clear his head and then come back and face, well, whatever had to be faced. He patted his horse and tightened one of the straps, and suddenly an image of Vasey sitting on Guy's horse on the day they had ended up at Hindelford came into his mind. He had looked like a repugnant boil on her beautiful back. He stroked the horse gently and as he did the picture dissolved into one of Katherine and Gifford.
Guy felt his heart clench and stood there for several moments, aware that the stable boy was watching him. He mounted his horse and headed for the main gate. ‘I will get over this love,’ he told himself,’ I got over Marian; I will get over the feelings I have for Katherine.’
He would feel better for being in the fresh air, better for having something to do; he would compose his thoughts and return just before the service. He would enjoy the extra wealth and power this episode had brought him.
He clattered over the cobbles and was soon riding away from Nottingham. Away from Katherine and Vasey and what lay ahead the following day.
In the end, love was a feeble thing compared to wealth and power.
There was nothing you couldn't get over if you put your mind to it.
