Paaji and the PARISite

Paaji and the PARISite - Chapter 10

Chapter 10 – Edward BalleBalle Singh

We decided to go to the park for further answers. I’m not really sure why. But I heard that they have this awesome soda machine. So we began our journey parkwards. And all through the 10 minute walk, Bella and Francis kept talking to each other. Maybe he was asking her out. Hey, but why would that bother me? It’s just that. I really thought. I really really thought Francis liked me :( Wait, no no NO! I’m not gay. I thought Francis was, and one can never have too many weird gay stalkers/admirers.

And just when I thought my day couldn’t get any worse, Ms Dupont herself decides to parade right next to me and start flicking her hair and start giggling like a little baby who just saw that dude in Elmo’s world fall over a ball.. again. “Oh my god, you know Edward, Francis is sooo funny! And he asked me out on a date on Friday.. it’s gonna be so romantic! You guys should totally meet each other.” she gushed.. like women who find out their best friend’s pregnant.. with twins.

“Ahaha okay. That was NOT creepy at all.” Jeez, what is up with her?! Ooh. Maybe Ms Lovey Loverson likes me! Edward, my boy, you just scored! Wait. Who’s voice was that? John Travolta? Okay.. focus on the zombie situation, Edward, and ignore her for now. You have to be badass, not some idiotic girl’s end of a joke.

“You, my dear friend, are so unromantic! I bet that’s why you’re probably going to have another arranged marriage to some child in Lahore! I’d better get back to Francis, at least he’s more interesting than you.” she pouted, and turned around to the bloody git. Bloody git? I need better derogatory adjectives.

We reached the park then, and it was worse than what I had imagined. The park was like the zombie headquarters. There were zombies everywhere. And according to Francis, the cure was hidden bang in the centre of the park. This was like Mission Impossible. Just without the censored scenes.

For once, Softpants agreed to let someone else plan our way in. That was me, obviously. I decided to split the group into three factions. Team Martin Luther King would include Angus, Porkface and Bella. they were in charge of the distraction. By a simple vote of majority, the distraction chosen was blowing up a cartload of bananas with coke and mentos.

Team Snuggle Bunnies would include Softpants, Van Der Douchent, and a majority of U.N.D.E.A.D . Their purpose was to retrieve the soda machine. And last, but not the least, was Team AlphaOmega Milk n Oreo, the team chosen to retrieve the cure. I was on it, as was Francis.  

And with that, we set off on one of the greatest rescue missions(soda machine retrieval) man has or will ever see. Plus, it would also save all of humanity from an apocalyptic curse but eh. That was just one of the perks.