Paaji and the PARISite

Paaji and the PARISite - Chapter 5

Chapter 5 - Bella Dupont

Zombies.

Oh.

My.

God.

“SOMEBODY CALL SANTA CLAUS, GAWWDD DAMN IT I CAME TO ICELAND TO ESCAPE THE SCOTTISH MONSTERS BUT THEY’RE BACK AGAIN.. BUT GREYY! COME ON, SOMEBODY! IS THERE NO ADULT AROUND?!”, an extraordinarily high voice screamed in terror. I turned around to look who the idiot was and saw.. Angus. His shirt was covered in mucus and his nose was wobbling.

Silly Angus. Edward pushed one of the snothead’s pressure points slightly and down the boy went. Well, that was taken care of. “Thanks, he was really beginning to ask for a wedgie.” I smiled. “Now, what do we do about the zombies that are getting creepier by the second?”

We rushed to the window to get a better look at the zombies. Wave upon wave of grey, frostbitten zombies, in various outfits(underwear, suits, jeans, tutus) shuffled through the school’s massive gate.  

It was basically, the funniest, yet scariest thing I’d ever seen. Edward stood beside me, chuckling.

“You know what I’m thinking?”, he said, grinning from ear to ear.

“Zombie vs freaks of Iceland war?” I replied sarcastically.

“Well that too, but I was actually thinking that it might be time to eat my hot dog.” he replied. I wondered if it was an innuendo, until he produced a hot dog out of nowhere. I’d have to question the sanitary grounds of the whole affair but enough said.

“Wait, let me attack a blonde munchkin for whale sushi and then I can watch you eat an amazing hot dog in this bloody cold.” I remarked bitterly. The lucky bastard had a hot dog! A bloody hot dog! While I’ll have to find food in this wasteland, since I didn’t want to risk my life in the cafeteria with the food they served.

He finished the hot dog, burped magnificently and jumped to his feet. “This is no time to indulge yourself in raw Japanese food. It’s time to bash up zombies.” He picked up a baseball bat lying on the mucus covered floor next to where Angus sat and turned towards me, “Let’s go.”

“Yes, let’s.” I mourned over the hot dog and got up beside him. “Vee shall kill zey zombieess!” I sang in a falsetto and started pumping my fists. Damn, I really was going insane after all.

We stepped out of the classroom and turned to face the grey army of the undead approaching us. “Shall we begin?”, I asked.

“Not yet.” came the reply. He suddenly pulled out a boombox(how did he do that?!) and pressed a button. “Let’s rock and roll.”