Paaji and the PARISite

Paaji and the PARISite - Chapter 8

Chapter 8 - Edward BalleBalle Singh

Pffsht. What did she think of herself, coming to save me and all. I’m a vampire. I can save my own ass. Anyways I didn’t have much time to my self pitying thoughts as the door behind me banged open.

I twisted to see a livid, frothing-at-the-mouth Bella. She screamed like Mariah Carey, “That’s right! I’m storming out on you.”

“But..” I began with a smirk, but the half-crazed french chick cut me off. “I know that technically, I’m storming in but I was already outside, and I was.. Oh never mind.” She shoved me aside and strode down the stairs.

Interesting. I walked downstairs and went and sat by McSnottynose as Softpants explained the plan of action from here on out. Angus and I were rearguards, so basically all we had to do was bash up any zombie behind us. Ms Van Der Douchent and Porkface Pinecone(Another classmate) were the scouts, probably because no one liked them that much. Bella, Softpants and the other kids were the cavalry. So generally, all in all, give or take, the plan was to knock out the majority of Iceland’s zombie population. Yep, Softpants was the glass-half-full guy alright. Anyways the plan worked amazingly well, and we managed to run into the U.N.D.E.A.D.

The following conversation then took place between Coach Softpants and Alpha Squad Captain, number 45922 a.k.a my neighbour Francis:

Francis: Did you like see the zombies man? Like, I told you so.

Softpants: What’s the plan cupcake?

Francis: Like I don’t know man. But dude, them chicas you got there look sweet. Awesome.

Softpants: Jeez. I never should’ve quit my job at the nail salon.

So, we were stuck with Francis and his friends, Iceland was taken over by zombies, Bella was mad at me, Angus ate all the ice cream in the truck and all I thought about was how unlucky I was to be a vampire. God, I’m a small person. Then again, maybe not.