Chapter 4: Dilemma

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I walked home- nope, I didn't. I skipped joyfully back home ignoring the people around me. I heard laughters and snide remarks that was piercing through my ears but the news that I received just now makes me feel overjoyed. Other than knowing that Niall was from Ireland, I have always loved to travel and see what other countries are like. I would want to know their food, culture and especially, listen to their accents. I find it rather interesting and some of it are attractive.

"Mum, dad! I am going to Ireland!" I ran into the house and lost my balance, falling backwards. Suddenly, a pair of green eyes stared down back at me and giggled.

"Sissy!" I sat back up and hugged my sister's legs. "Um, ok, you can let go of my stinky, hairy legs now," we cracked up as she pulled out a hand and I grabbed it without hesitation.

My lovely sister, Elina Oleson, had been married for almost four years now. She is my one and only sibling. We treasure each other so much. She even gets mad if we ever go out for shopping and she did not get to buy anything for me. Weird, but true. She's living with her husband now and only comes to our house for a visit once a month. Sometimes her husband does not tag along with her though. Not sure what I should feel about that. Sadly, they do not have a child yet although it is what they always wish for. As for me, I would love to be an aunt one day .

"Ireland, huh?" dad questioned as all eyes stared at me. "Yup!" I replied with my mouth full. Bits of chicken and rice dropped out from my mouth but it does not shift their focus away from me.

"You know that you have never been out of town and never been far away from us, right?" I could still feel all of their eyes on me. I just nodded slowly, knowing where this conversation is going.

Oh, no. This must be bad. I have a really bad feeling about this. I can sense it. My intuition is getting stronger.

"I am afraid you cannot go. We are all worried for you," I looked up and see each and  everyone of them. They look very concern.

"But I really want to go. I promise I will take a good care of myself. Please, trust me." I begged and for once, I stopped eating while talking. "But-" dad's sentence got cut off when mum places her hand on his. Elina initially hesitated but nodded in agreement in the end.

"Alright," dad sighed.

"You may go. But, you must promise me that you will not get youself into trouble and do not injure yourself in anyway," dad said with a firm voice.

Alright, I'm a daddy's girl and am not embarrassed about it.

"And you must call us everyday so that we won't have to miss you that much," Elina added, although I know they will still miss me no matter what.

"I PROMISE" I exclaimed with full of gusto and jumped out of my chair.

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The plane took off and I an on my way to Ireland. It is my first time on a plane and it is not as bad as I thought. I was put to sit near the window and I only then I realised how nervous I have become. I got petrified although the plane has not taken off yet. To add on to my anxiety, I am sitting next to my gangly wonk classmate, Bryan.

Getting sat next to him is definitely not a good idea. He's just as afraid as I am! I was expecting to be seated next to a friendly, good-looking guy. Then will lead on to us getting to know each other, following on Instagram and have a date in cafe. Just like in those romantic movies. I imagined I would get comforting words like, "It will be alright. Just calm down and we will get there in no time." If this was a movie, I might even have that kind of conversation and continuous pat on my hand. Sadly, I am in reality.

Looking out through the window, mesmerised by God's creation at how beautiful it is up here. The sun shine brightly with those fluffy clouds that looks like cotton candy. Suddenly, Kate and Luke came to my mind. I felt a sob forming in my chest and soon, I feel a drip of tear rolling down my cheek.

Why am I so weak? Why do I let myself get affected by this? Why do I have to cry? Why do I trust people so easily?

Endless of questions playing through my mind. I should not have gotten my hopes up high. I should have known both of their agenda. This really tears me down.

I could not just let Kate trample all over me. The betrayal she did was just so she can fit in with everyone else. All along, she was embarrassed to be friends with me.

She must taste her own medicine. She must feel how I am feeling right now. She must know that she should not take our friendship for granted. She must know what I am capable of. But, am I strong enough to prove her that? Am I even capable to do that?

I am just an invincible girl who everyone calls "that fat bimbo" in school. Who am I compared to her? People would not notice me. I don't stand out in the crowd like she do. What can an invincible fat bimbo like me do?

I realised I am just plain hopeless.

A/N: Hello! Alright, frankly I can't wait to get to the part when she meets ____. Haha alright, you guys probably know who. Guess what happened there? Anyway, I created a twitter account and it's @muffinary. Follow me? Hehe! And thanks for reading! And will you guys leave a comment so that I know what I am lacking in? I will improve on them :) Hope you guys will share my story to others thanks! :)

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