Stuck In Between [On Hold]

Chapter Four

I was led straight to the sofa by Chris who by now looked like he was ready to chew all his nails off. That’s how nervous and worried he looked to me. I didn’t know what to say, really. I mean, how is it that you start up a conversation about what happened to me?

I couldn’t just come out and say ‘Oh, Chris, guess what, I almost got raped last night after you left me outside all alone, but thanks for getting me home. That was ever so nice of you. Want a cookie?’

I needed something nice to start with. But that would be kinda odd seeing as how the ending wouldn’t be all that nice. Sheesh! I was so nervous that I just didn’t know how to start it up and that fact that he was staring at me with worried eyes was getting me all the more worked up.

Gah! My fingers are all trembling and everything and at some point I even started twisting them together with a vengeance. Any more of this twisting and I would end up in the hospital while they reattached my poor wrung out fingers!

“Sooo?” You could tell he was getting impatient. He dragged that word out into the silence that had enveloped us, giving me the cue I needed to just blurt it all out.

I finally spoke up, my eyes planted firmly on his. For courage? “Umm…Chris I, uh, I have something I have to, uh…tell you.”

“I’ve noticed.” he said, taking my shaking hands into his.

I ignored his smart comment because he doesn’t really know that what I have to say is serious and just kept right on talking so as not to lose the little bravery I had gained.

“You know last night when I disappeared?” He nodded while caressing the backs of my hands with his thumbs. “Remember that guy with the red cup that was staring at me at the party?” His eyes got big in a second and releasing me, he shot up off the couch and looked down at me in horror.

“No!” he screeched down at me. “No okay? He…he didn’t. Tell me he didn’t, Meg!”

I lowered my head sadly so as not to keep seeing the utter pain and shock in his eyes and shook it, jumping up when I felt the first punch to the armrest of the couch.  

He was throwing punches everywhere after that. It seemed he had been possessed with a rage that not even he could control all of sudden. He punched the couch, the walls around us, the empty air around him, not even caring if there was nothing there.

He was screaming in what must be agony, the curse words flying out of his mouth, unspeakable. I had never seen Chris this way and though it was a bit frightening, I knew he needed to do this, to vent out his frustration and anger.

I just sat there on the sofa watching him making a scene and suddenly tears slowly started running down my face. I couldn’t help it anymore. I had held back for too long, held back from feeling sorry for myself, held back from actually thinking about what happened because I was afraid that if I started crying I just wouldn’t be able to stop.

And I was right, of course. Letting myself fall off the sofa and onto the floor I cried for all I was worth, my shoulders and body shaking with my uncontrollable sobs. I was kicking my legs out everywhere in front of me like a crazy person, my hands over my face as I screamed into them.

I was releasing some of my pain, releasing some of my rage, some of my hate and it didn’t seem like I could even stop it. It had become a living entity that took me over and said…’just let it out so you can be free’. And I was only too willing to find that release.

Chris stopped his rampage and ran over to me. He kneeled next to me and took my hands off my face because by that time I had begun to claw at it. My goodness! Was I going crazy now?