Senior Year with My Protector | Protector 1.2

Chapter 32

Chapter 32

       I was woken up in the middle of the night by the sound of my door slowly creaking open. I rubbed my eyes, turning my head to see Grayson standing by the door. Even though it was dark, I was able to see his tear-stained cheeks. "Grayson?" I said softly. "Are you crying?"

       Grayson wiped some tears away and gave me a weak smile. "Yeah. I....Poppy, I need to be honest with you."

       I gestured for him to sit down in my bed with me. He closed the door, walking over and climbing into the bed with me. He laid down, placing his hands over his face. He took deep, shaky breaths and I knew something was wrong, especially because he was crying.

       I removed one of his hands from his face and intertwined it with mine. "Take your time," I told him.

       Grayson took one more deep breath before wiping away his final tear. "My depression has gotten worse."

       "Really?" I asked. "But you've been acting like yourself again."

       "I know," Grayson said. "Because I've been hiding it. The truth is, ever since you got paralyzed, I can't sleep. I have nightmares where you leave me because you think it's my fault. So I don't sleep. And when I don't sleep, I wonder what I could have done to prevent this."

       "Grayson, it's not your fault," I said, angling myself to the best I could so I could look at him. I rested my hand on his cheek, gently wiping away the rest of the tears. "I need you to know that, okay? I don't blame you at all. Not once have I ever felt like it was your fault."

       "That doesn't stop me from feeling so depressed," Grayson said. "I've tried, Flower. I've tried to tell myself that it was an accident, but I can't accept it. I was the one driving the car, and I was the one who crashed it."

       "But you were distracted," I said. "Grayson, think of it this way. You're the one who's making me look on the bright side of this. You're the one who's taking me everywhere, even if it includes being late to a class at school. You're the one who does everything for me that I can't. You bring me food, make me food, get things I need. You're the one who's mostly helping me through this. Yeah, you crashed the car but it wasn't your fault. I don't want you blaming yourself."

       "I can't help it," he said softly. "It's stuck in my head. It keeps me up at nights. Every time I see you in the wheelchair, I think about how I could have stopped it from happening."

       I pressed my lips gently on his. "It's not your fault," I said again in a quiet whisper. "I don't blame you. And if I don't blame you, then you shouldn't blame yourself."

       "Poppy...."

       "I'm serious," I said. "I love you way too much to see yourself beat yourself up over this. I know it's hard for you to change your mind, but I need you to understand that I only see you helping me."

       I gave him another kiss before laying back down. "Do you mind if I spend the night with you?" Grayson asked. "Maybe then I could actually sleep."

       My response was to attempt to curl into his side, which he helped me with. He kissed my forehead and I soon feel asleep to the soft sound of his snoring.

~*~*~*~

       So Grayson and I ended up breaking one of the rules Dad set out for us. We weren't supposed to sleep in the same bed together, even though nothing happened at all. Dad wasn't happy when he saw Grayson's bed empty and found us sleeping in mine. Luckily, he was able to look pass it once he saw Grayson's cheeks were still stained with tears.