A Heart of Ice

Cold

BPOV:

We didn't go to the place Edward was telling me about simply because it got too late. Esme kept me for dinner which turned out to be the most AMAZING chicken and bell pepper stew and then Alice persuaded me to stay longer for movie night. When I said I would, Emmett picked me up in a bone crushing hug and swung me around until Edward told him that he was killing me. Emmett really was just a big teddy bear.

At the end of the movie, I stood up and announced that I really had to get home because I hadn't told Charlie where I'd be.

"Oh, okay," Alice told me, at last giving in. "But you have to come back soon," She stressed.

I smiled at her. "Cross my heart,"

"Or die." She said giggling. Making a face at her, I turned to Esme.

"Thankyou so much Esme, for having me."

"Think nothing of it dear," She said kindly. "Edward will walk you out." She nodded towards him and he stood up, stretching.

"Of course," He led to me to the door and even walked me out to my truck. It was really dark out and the woods that had seemed enchanted before now seemed creepy at night and I was glad of the company.

"Your family is amazing," I said, because I couldn't help but believe that it was true.

He shrugged. "I guess. I don't know what we look like to someone on the outside looking in." He stood with his hands in his pockets, his hair falling in his face. Without thinking, I reached out and brushed it out of his eyes. It was extremely soft and silky, cool to the touch and I wanted to run my hands through it properly, but I quickly snatched my hand back as if it had burned me. Get a hold of yourself Bella, I scolded myself.

He looked surprised for a second then he smiled softly, wistfully and moved closer to me, forcing me up against my truck. He leaned his face closer to mine and my heart started sprinting and pounding so hard in my chest that it started to hurt. I inhaled sharply and that was a mistake since his scent overwhelmed my thought processes.

I was open, I realized. That was why he could get to me this way. I quickly retreated into my icy fortress. I opened my eyes and stared Edward down.

"If you only walked me out here to kiss me, you've got another thing coming, buddy." I told him, my eyes narrowing. Instead of answering, he brought his hand up and tucked a stray strand of hair behind my ear, then trailed his hand down my neck, to my shoulder, down my arm until he came to my hand. He held it and brought it to his lips and kissed it softly. Still holding my hand, he leaned closer, to my ear.

"We're going to be great friends, Bella." He whispered, sending shivers down my spine and tickling my ear with his cool breath. His hand was warm and the trail he'd traced down my arm was tingling pleasantly. I had been paralyzed this whole time, my resolve to not let him in again, crumbling. Before I could say or do anything, Edward let go of my hand, leaving it cold without his warmth, and turned and walked away.

Over the next few weeks, I gradually opened up to Edward, becoming more kindly and gentle towards him. I began to tell him things, to confide in him and to trust him. He scarcely ever left my side and I enjoyed his company. He was witty, intelligent, charming and very protective. He was my guardian angel, my best friend, and my personal bit of sunshine every day. Before, his problem had been getting me to smile more. Now, it was getting me to smile less. I was that happy. When I was with him at least.

At night, I went to sleep afraid the nightmares would come back, but feverishly hoping they wouldn't. My hopes were in vain. I woke up screaming, tears sliding down my cheeks every morning and eventually I took to staying awake most of the night to avoid my dream hell. I became haunted-looking and pale. There were dark circles underneath my eyes and I was forever tired, but too afraid to sleep. I was becoming weaker and weaker as the ghosts from my past came back to haunt me. I would never deserve happiness for as long as I lived.