Stories to Tell in the Dark

Bonfire

Murder is an incredibly human concept, when you think of it. All species kill; to protect their young, to cull those unfit, most often in order to stay alive- everyone needs to eat.
And yet, in nature, all causes of death are natural. We exist simply for existence' sake. All victories, large and small, all worlds we build- everything we do, will die. Of course, it might be remembered, for a little while, by other, equally perishable beings. But, in the end, existence will cease to exist. That is the way of the world. All things come to an end. Eventually.
All ways of life die. Usually, of natural causes, so to speak. Occasionally, then, they die of something other than natural causes. And what is the word we have created, a stand-in for "other than natural causes"?
Murder.
A stupid word, when you think of it.
But an appropriate one.

******

The sky was a horribly dull grey-and-navy. The car loomed out of the shadows like some shiny, dusty monster. It was just a little way across the yard. It was the same car it had always been, but tonight it was dangerous. Even worse, it was unavoidable.
This was bad.
This was really, really bad.
And it was a sure thing.
A few months ago, crisis had been far away- horribly frightening, yes, but just another news item - but as the days turned to weeks it had edged closer, first on the news, ('scenes some viewers may find disturbing', though it was impossible to look away) - but the scenes of carnage had disappeared from screens once they realised that no solution was forthcoming -, then in rumours, rumours that had travelled, rumours distorted, then in real stories, of cousins and friends who had met their end. Then, it had been scary. It had been lock-your-doors-at-night, don't-speak-about-it scary. That was because it was real, getting realer. The Internet is a liar, the news too, but what about Sue down the street who bawled in school thinking about her cousins, hoping they weren't gone? Was she a liar? Were your own eyes deceiving you when you saw a boy little more than a child lose his grip on this life, gone before he could see the deaths all around him?
Oh, this was bad.
Oh, was it ever bad.
And it was happening. Tonight, it was happening.
They couldn't help what they were about to do. They weren't given a choice. They were trying to protect their family. They were trying to follow instruction, to do as asked, even if the instructions were coming from the other side.
But were there sides? No, she realised, there weren't. It was the fire and they were the kindling.
Her uncle, her aunt, her godparents, they were trying to do their job. To protect their kids. They loved her, sure. But in this situation they were like game-show judges, the biggest phonies of them all. They would hate to see her go, but it was something that had to be done. They couldn't help it.
They couldn't help it.
She could see the look of desperation in those eyes, could understand it. They hardly believed that, if they did as told, everything would be OK. The villain never plays fair; the mastermind always finds the loophole. Everyone knew that. If comic books and action movies have taught us anything, it's that the bad guy never plays by the rules. It's common knowledge, that.
But, in all fairness, what choice did they have? This was no game, this was no movie. And they couldn't help it. A thing like this, it had to be done.
We are the kindling, the voice in her head whispered.
But, no. They weren't just the kindling. They were the weapon, too.
Oh, God, is this happening? Can this really happen? Am I dreaming? Am I in a coma?
But dreams scared her, so she pushed the thought away.
Scared of dreams, really? With all I've got to be afraid of?
"Ester, honey?" The voice was tentative, apologetic.
Oh, I hope you're sorry. I hope you're scared. I bet one'll get you when you try to leave it'll serve you-
But, no. That wasn't fair.
Do you think what he's planning is fair? What do you think about that?
No, it wasn't fair, but none of this was.
Get out and run, girl. Take your chances in the wild.
And there would be chances in the wild. She was a strong girl, full of instinct, and the enemy kept to the towns. Oh, there'd be chances. And it wasn't as if she hadn't contemplated it, sure she had. It would be simple, easy, even.
But she couldn't. Leaving would mean sure death for the family. She didn't really care about the parents, they were mostly dead anyway, just walking shells. But the kids?
They were young, they had a life ahead - an uncertain one, but they had a chance of survival if she did as told.
Oh, she was going to miss them. Luckily they weren't old enough for her treatment.
Casting call: Ages 13-25. Preferably, doomed.
They probably didn't even know what was happening. Out here in the country, life continued as usual. They had enough canned goods stockpiled to last them years. It was true, the enemy kept to the towns. It was the threat of their approach that kept everyone subdued.
"Ester, honey?" Tentative, apologetic, irritating.
I hope he gets close enough to think he'll make it. I hope his head comes clean off in their hands-
No. No, dammit! The thought wasn't her own, and she knew it. In the last few days she had felt it in her head, her thoughts twisting and sifting. They were bad thoughts. They were angry thoughts, contemptuous thoughts. Worst of all, they were inviting thoughts. Whatever it was, it was in her head, and it wasn't human. She had realised this, but had never spoken it aloud. Even in these times, the very idea was ridiculous. It was imperative that they maintain a sense of normalcy. If she told her aunt or her uncle, it might be the final straw, they might snap under the strain, and their kids needed them. At least one of them probably wouldn't come back alive. They could drop her outside the city, but they had to be sure; they had to be positive that she wouldn't run away-
that their sacrifice is received
Sacrifice? No. It was wrong to think that, but think it she did, and whether it was her own or not was immaterial; it was in there, it was not to be moved.
"Ester?"
She felt her feet shuffle across the rain-sodden yard toward the instrument of her destruction. She swung open the door and threw herself inside. Searched for the belt buckle. Found it. Pulled it across. Clicked it in.
This is the last time I'll ever do this.
The action seemed to confirm in her head the truth of her imminent death. In belting herself in she seemed to, also, be sealing her fate. She was doomed, and she knew it.
This was bad. This was so, so bad.
The rain was night-time rain, not a fine mist all around, but heavy, separate, definite drops that dive-bombed the car as it pulled out the gate.
The same car, the same gate. All things as they should be.
Tears sprung fresh in her eyes. She didn't care if he saw her upset anymore. She had been choking emotion down for weeks. She was about to die. She didn't care if he was slightly uncomfortable. He didn't seem it, anyway.
His eyes were bright, wide, awake, his grip on the steering wheel tight. In fact, everything about him seemed tight, wound-up,
Excited?
She wouldn't allow herself to believe it, and the voice in her head was little more than a hiss, but it was soft and it was seductive; even more than that, even worse than that, it sounded right.
He didn't look scared, not even upset, and, though he bore no smile, she somehow felt as though the absence of one was little more than formality. Somehow, he had convinced himself that this was simply an evening drive, a trip out for milk or teabags. Maybe he had to, to retain a grip on reality. That was alright; she had convinced herself it was aliens.
The raindrops attacked the sunroof and the night closed in as the small car skittered over the narrow and potholed back road. As they got closer to town, the road widened out, and the bumps became few.
It was disguisting how people continued as normal. Stockpiling food as though there was a severe weather warning. Chatting and gossiping.
They wouldn't let their children leave the house, but the price of vegetables in Aldi was still the biggest piece of news.
People moving to the country to be nearer relatives that didn't even exist.
It was all a cover story. It was all a lie.
There was silence in the car. She imagined herself saying something like "Can you believe this weather? In June?" and striking up a hearty conversation.
If I don't talk now, I'll never talk again.
But of course she wouldn't talk. She couldn't talk. Did it matter? She was about to find out what dying felt like. Another thought came to her, of her screaming "I'm too young to die!" and rattling the door lock. But it wasn't funny. Under the circumstances, it felt completely horrible.
Then it occurred to her that perhaps it was in his head too. As she thought about it, it began to seem more and more like the logical conclusion. That maybe her uncle was driving along on auto pilot, seeing rainbows and ponies, not in control of himself but not aware of that either. It was nigh-certain that he had lost it. What happened when he got it back? Would he ever feel shame? Would he be plagued by nightmares perhaps? Believing that it was his fault that she would be gone?
That's because it is his fault
The voice was back, and maybe the voice was right. All this talk of it being nobody's fault, it was all over-the-top, soft-serve bullshit, anyway. It's nobody's fault if the world ends, sure. The ritual sacrifice of your niece? That's another thing.
He's weak. He always has been. They all are. Weak. When the cards are down, they'll show their true colours. Good for nothing. Weak. Maybe the world'll be better off without them.
Not them, us, she reminded herself. Not them, us. And it won't be better. Mass murder leaves a stain on the world. Things are never better. Things only get worse.
Things only get worse.