The Immortal Cure

15. Loss

"It's your mother" Duke continued nervously as he watched me intently

"My mother?" I repeated, my heart pounding in my chest "What happened now?"

"There was an accident..." He trailed off.
I knew where he was going.
I could feel my palms sweat and my heart hammer against my ribcage.

"What happened?" I mumbled, wanting the truth "What happened Duke?" I pushed, fearing I'd lost the only family I had left. No matter how dysfunctional it was.

He shook his head and held a hand on my knee
"We think it was Ryde and Dodge. We should have protected her..." I looked at my hands that fidgeted in my lap.

Although she was mentally gone, and I was to her, she was still my mother, and now she was gone. Because of me.
My eyes burned and began to drip over with tears. A lump caught in my throat and my heart near exploded. I began to shake, feeling myself melt down.
I leaned forward and rest my elbows on my knees, my head sagging low.

"I'm sorry Rosie" Duke repeated softly as his hand now rest on my back.

I held my head in my hands as I lightly began to sob
"It's my fault" I stumbled, my voice breaking

"It's not. If it's anyone's fault, it's mine. I should have had someone protecting her" He tried to blame himself

I shook my head
"Stop. Just, stop" I whispered

"Okay" He complied as his hand moved slow circles over my back.
My contained sobs could no longer be held back, they escaped and I tightly squeezed my eyes closed, crying out for my loss.
I was now alone.
A flood of quiet tears began to flow as Duke pulled me close to him. His arms were soon around me as I clung to his shirt like I had cried to Riley.

This was more intense than any of the problems I'd ever had since my fathers passing.
I couldn't take anymore blows than I'd already endured.
I wanted to run, I wanted to run so far away that I couldn't hear or see anymore hurt or pain.
So far away that I couldn't cause anymore hurt or pain for anyone.
My tears fell freely, stinging my eyes, burning my throat.

Duke was still, relaxed as he held his arms around me, allowing me to release the emotion.

My face was stained with dry tears, my eyelids swollen and sore.
But I didn't care.
I couldn't care less about anything as I held my head against Duke's cold chest.
Like Riley had, Duke rest his chin on top of my head, his hands circling across my back and arm.

I wasn't sure how long I'd been crying for, but I could tell it was well over fifteen minutes. Eventually, I fell silent, but I still didn't move.
My crying had ended, for now.

Duke's hand moved from my back and lightly began stroking my hair as I breathed heavily, trying to steal back my lost air.

"Are you okay?" He whispered close to my face

I just nodded

"Is there anything I can do for you?" He asked, my fingers dis-entangling from the grip on his shirt

I shook my head, and was now aware just how close I was to Duke.
I sniffed and pulled away, keeping my eyes and head down.
I wiped my face with the backs of my hands, and peeled away pieces of hair that had glued itself to my face.

"I'll be okay" I mumbled as I quickly lifted myself up from the sofa.
Duke was instantly by my side holding me up when my knees gave way beneath me.
His hands were holding my waist as I found my footing again.

"Sorry" I muttered as I stood upright holding onto the inside of his arms.

"Stop saying sorry Rosie" He told me, looking down at me.
I couldn't imagine how I must have looked.
Like a lake monster that had burst from the murky depths covered in slime and water.