Dangerous Diaries

Chapter 17 - What Is This Thing Called Love?

Lissy

"What is this thing called love? This funny thing, called love. Just who can solve its mystery? Why should it make, a fool of me? I saw you there one wonderful day. But you took my heart. And you threw my heart away. That's why I ask the lord, up in heaven above, just what is this thing, called love?"

Frank Sinatra's words seeped into my memories and images of Michael and I cuddled in Paris brushed my mind.

"Welcome home, Mrs. Jackson."

With a silent 'thank you' and head nod, I greeted back Michael's most favorite housemaid Maria as she helped me inside. If it wasn't so late, and I wasn't so jet lagged from my long flight, I would've stayed outside and listened to Frank Sinatra play all night. Roaming around Neverland in the wee hours of the morning turned out to be a great pleasure of mine. The music playing through the air, the lights illuminating this small, private world...just everything about it.

But the lights inside were dimmed all around. "Is Michael asleep?" Something he'd hardly do.

"I'm not sure, ma'am. He-"

"Maria," I interrupted with a giggle. "You know better than to call me that."

"Sorry. Lissy, he's in the bedroom. Would you like me to tell him you're here?"

I say Maria was Michael's most favorite because he seemed to trust her with everything. She was one from a small group of people who knew the truth behind our marriage. Though she knew it was phony, I thought it was cute how she still called me Mrs. Jackson with the most honest smile, whether we were alone or with company.

"Don't bother him. I'm just going to go to my room and surprise him in the morning."

"Okay, honey. You need help with your bags?"

Just then, my driver walked in with my luggage.

"I think we'll be fine. Go get some rest."

"Thank you," she said with a sweet smile. "Goodnight, Lissy."

"Goodnight, Maria."

I was able to walk to my room hands free as my driver took responsibility for my things. Once alone, I locked the door behind me and began to undress. I thought about jumping in the shower but the aches in my bones and the heaviness of my eyelids told me it wasn't necessary.

My clothing became a shapeless pile on the floor and I slipped into one of my silk gowns from my dresser.

There were nights I used to stay with Michael in his room. Very few nights. But there was a time when he would spend a lot of time with me in my designated guest room. The world only needed to know where I was going to at night. They didn't need to know where I was sleeping. The only times it was pertinent I sleep with Michael in the master bedroom was when we had company. Very few nights. Because most of the time the company would sleep in the guest house.

My room was far on the other end of the house. I could have my own social over here and I doubt Michael would ever know. But I missed being with him at night.

Before I could let my mind go too far back in sweet memories, I remembered I promised to call Siedah back in New York to let her know I made it home from Sweden okay. I warned her I would be getting in late but she said she didn't care.

I looked at my digital clock sitting on my night stand and it read 3:52 which meant it was almost 7 am on the east coast. But she said to call.

I sighed as I reached for the phone from under my covers. I sat up and rested my back against the headboard as I pressed the talk button. By habit, I put the phone to my ear for the dial tone before dialing but I instantly froze when I heard Michael's laugh on the other end.