The Other Potter Book Three.

Chapter Eight

We skipped down happily to our first ever Care of Magical Creatures class.

"Seriously, you'd think she should be worried about Harry's 'grim' thing!" Ron was whining. It was probably because I was singing a random song and making up lyrics.

"Harry! Oh! Harry! You are a boy who's all magical! You like to be a boy! You like to drink soy! And you always blow your nose!"

"What is wrong with you?" Harry said in exasperation.

"Too many things" I said happily before bursting into song. "Ronald oh Ronald! Your name rhymes with Donald! And you are a Weasley! And probably easy!" Ron whacked me across the back of the head. "Hermione! Hermione! You are never whiney! Unless you are doing what's best for all of us! You are really gifted and incredibly thrifted. I don't even think that's a word!"

"You're an-"Hermione started

"Use a word that you have never used before!" I exclaimed.

"You're an ultra-mega-disistablimentary-weird person." She said instantly.

"And you my friend are really awesome." I said proud of my corruption of weirdness on Hermione.

It was only when Harry pointed out three only-too-familiar backs ahead of us that we realized we must be having these lessons with the Slytherins. Malfoy was talking animatedly to Crabbe and Goyle, who were chortling.

Freaking douches.

"GRONK!" I shouted.

"What the-"Malfoy said turning around to see the amazing person that was me. He was cut off when I tackled him to the ground. "You crazy bitch!" he yelped as I punched him. I giggled manically and said: "YOU FORGOT BIPOLAR! WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?" and hopped off to go poke Goyle in the arm. "Sexy." I hissed in his ear. He turned tomato red and I skipped back over to my friends and fell over laughing.

"She's got problems." I heard Pavarti say as she looked at me oddly.

"I do." I agreed.

Hagrid was waiting for us at the door of his hut. He stood in his moleskin overcoat, with Fang the boarhound at his heels, looking impatient to start.

"C'mon, now, get a move on!" he called as we approached. "Got a real treat for yeh today! Great lesson comin' up! Everyone here? Right, follow me!"

For one nasty moment, I thought that Hagrid was going to lead us into the forest; I've had enough unpleasant experiences in there to last me a lifetime. However, Hagrid strolled off around the edge of the trees, and five minutes later, we found ourselves outside a kind of paddock. An empty paddock.

"Everyone gather 'round the fence here!" he called. "That's it -- make sure yeh can see -- now, firs' thing yeh'll want ter do is open yer books --"

"How?" drawled Malfoy.

"Eh?" said Hagrid.

"How do we open our books?" Malfoy repeated. He took out his copy of The Monster Book of Monsters, which he had bound shut with a length of rope. Other people took theirs out too; some had belted their book shut; others had crammed them inside tight bags or clamped them together with binder clips.

"Hasn' -- hasn' anyone bin able ter open their books?" said Hagrid, looking crestfallen.

"I COULD!" I shouted gleefully as everyone shook their heads.

Hagrid beamed at me.

"Go on, tell 'em." Hagrid told me.

"You have to stroke them along the spine!" I said dramatically. "God, it's pretty obvious!"