What Cannot Be Verbally Expressed

TWENTY SEVEN

i could make this seem like a perfect moment.
i could say i'm outside,
looking at the stars,
and seeing the same twinkle
that your eyes produce
when our hands touch.
but i'm not.
instead, i'm sitting in my room,
watching weird commercials that advertise things no one really needs,
eating peanut butter and chocolate granola bars,
thinking about you.
thinking about how you pull up the sleeve of my hoodie to hold my hand;
thinking about how you rub your thumb on my arm;
thinking about how you always wait for me to sit down first before you do so yourself;
thinking about how you always want to know if i'm okay;
thinking about you,
and all the little things you do
that i appreciate more than you think.
so even though i could be asleep,
and i'm not,
and even though i could be looking at the stars,
and i'm not,
and even though i could be writing songs about you,
and i'm not,
and even though i could be wearing the necklace you gave me,
and i'm not,
don't think that you're not on my mind.
because you are, always.
and if you ever think i'm not happy with you,
trust me;
i am.