Secret Desire (Nyssara FanFic)

Your Turn to Leave

Nyssa debated on whether to see Sara before she departs with Oliver or not, ultimately, her hope in stopping her from going and making her stay with her won over any hurt and doubts.

She found Sara hiding out by the docks waiting for Oliver's signal to get on the boat because her sister was still there talking to him.

"You're really leaving with him? There's no way I can stop you, is there?"

"It's just for a couple of days. I'll be back before you know it."

"You don't know what's it like for me when you're not by my side."

"It'll be fine. I will come back to you, Nyssa."

"Then just don't go."

"Nyssa."

"You asked me to leave once even though we both knew how much you loved me. Why should I believe that you will come back to me when I know that your heart no longer belongs to me but to him already?"

"My heart still belongs to you. Whatever happens, a part of my heart will always belong to you. And I will be back. I promise."

Sara could tell that Nyssa was still doubtful of her intentions, well she couldn't blame her. What she said were very at point. But she didn't want to leave fighting with each other.

"Can you also promise me something? Can you try not to kill him when we get back?" Sara said playfully and beamed a sweet smile at Nyssa.

"You don't have to worry about that. I won't be here when you do."

"Don't be like this." Sara couldn't help but feel hurt mostly by herself because she knew deep down it was her fault.

"What? Be hurt? Don't you get it? I can't bear to see you with another, but I deal with it because at least I still have you and because I love you. But I won't stand and watch you leave me for someone else because even when you come back, we're done. I know we're done." Nyssa said in a calm and collected voice which scared Sara because she can tell that her emotions are boiling over and she wouldn't hold them back if she knew she could handle it.

"No." Sara didn't want to believe her.

"You've chosen him. The moment you walk away from me here, and when you step foot on that boat, I will know you've chosen him. So, if you really do want me in your life, stay. Stay with me. If not, then just leave and you really won't see me again because now I'd know that really don't."

Nyssa turned away, hurt by the silent response. She'd taken a few steps when Sara hugged her from behind and whispered, "I'm sorry."

Sara slowly let go and started walking toward the boat. When she glanced back, what she saw tore her apart. Nyssa still standing there, fists and jaw clenched in raging fury, her eyes filled with storming emotions of anger, hurt and despair, and something Sara had never witnessed, something no one has been able to do, make Nyssa's tears fall. And they weren't just falling, they were flowing.

It was the first time ever since she was a child and had started training that Nyssa had let her tears flow. It was only with Sara that they ever threatened to fall, but now she no longer had the will power to hold them down. She wanted her to see them. She wanted to let her know how much she'd hurt her; how she'd broken her.

Sara was then torn between turning and running back to Nyssa, hold her in her arms, kiss her gently and reassure her how much she loves her, or just leave with Oliver and hide away from all the worries. She was too afraid to go back; too afraid that even if she tried Nyssa would no longer accept her apologies, and not even accept her. She was too afraid that the damage she has caused was too extensive that there was no turning back, so she quickly ran to the boat, hid, and cried her heart out.