I'm Not Perfect. (ON HOLD)

Chapter 3

I woke up. It was a lovely Saturday morning. I took my phone to check what's the time is and I realized I had a new message.

From Derek:

"Hey gorgeous, wanna hang out today? x Love ya x"

I smiled on his texts. I loved how I was getting a text from him every morning just to say "Good morning" and every night just to wish me a "Good night" or the cute messages that manage to say only three words "I Love You".

I texted him back.

To: Derek

"Good Morning.. I'd love to..where?? Love you more x"

***

I heard the doorbell rang. I went to the door and opened it. It was him. I ran and hugged him.

After few secs he pulled of the hug and looked at me with his gorgeous eyes.

"I missed you D. I really did.." I said as I pressed my lips on his. Suddenly I felt something strange like someone was shaking me.

I opened my eyes and I realized I was in my bedroom and Celine was shaking me and yelling to me to wake up. It was a dream. It was only a dream..

C: "Why does it always take you so long to wake you up?"

"I don't know..." I said as I set up.

C: “Are you coming with me?” She asked as she smiled.

“Where?”

C: “Graveyard, to visit Derek’s grave.. You haven’t been there since the funeral..”

She was right. I didn’t go there since his funeral. I loved him to death, and the fact that I was going to his grave was killing me. Knowing that I won’t be able to see him, kiss him, touch him, and feel him. He was the only person I ever loved in my life. If we don’t count my crush from 2nd grade. 

While thinking I forgot that I haven’t said anything to Celine, but she didn’t said anything. She knew what was going on my mind. 

“Yeah I’ll come. I think it’s time to visit him.. Even though I know that I won’t be able to stand on my feet the whole time, even though I know that I’ll start to cry and I’ll cry for days..” I could continue anymore, I already started to cry..

C: “It’s okay to cry.. I’ve lost him too, he was my brother. I’m here for you Lilly no matter what you want or need just remember that I’m always here for you.. I promised him that I’ll and I’m willing to keep that promise..” She hugged me as I continued to cry. 

After minutes of crying I wiped off my tears. 

“I think I should get ready.” I said as I stood up from my bed slowly and went to my closet to find something to wear. I picked the black jeans that Derek always was saying that they fitted me perfectly and a white T-shirt that he bought it to me.

We walked outside to Celine’s car and we drove to the graveyard. We went to his grave. I knelt down next to his grave while slowly moving my fingers on the name written on the grave. Few tears escaped my eyes. Even though I didn’t wanted to cry, it was stronger than me, I wasn’t able to stop.

“ I miss you so much baby! Why did you left me? Why?? I’m all alone now.. I need you.. I don’t think I can do this anymore.. I need you more than everything!! I can’t live without anymore.. – I felt Celine’s arm on my shoulder – My life sucks without you.. I love you and I need you and I fucking miss you..”

After an half hour standing like that, speaking to him and crying I stood up. I started to feel a bit dizzy. I was about to fall down but someone catch my hand and help me to keep my balance. I turned around and saw Derek.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Derek: “I was visiting my sister’s grave.. You’re not the only one that lost someone.” 

“You didn’t tell me about that yet..” 

Derek: “Well I didn’t really had time.. We didn’t saw each other since that night.”

“Yeah, you’re right, I forgot…” I tried to smile a bit.

D: “Wanna go on a coffee or something?” He asked.

“I don’t know, I’m not alone..” I said as I pointed at Celine and she smiled and waved at us.

D: “She can come too if she wants..”

Celine: “Honey go if you want, I won’t mind, and definitely my brother wouldn’t too..” She said and smiled at me as she looked at his grave and a tear streamed down her face.

“Are you sure you can drive C.?” I asked.

C: “Yeah, I’ve been driving in worst conditions too, don’t worry about me..”

“Okay..Bye.. – I turned at his grave – I love you D. and I miss you so much..” I said as more tears started to stream down. I had to say it out loud, I couldn’t keep it inside of me.

I walked away with Derek and we went to one café bar that I haven’t been yet before but it wasn’t crowded much and I liked it. We ordered our coffees.

D: “I have a lot of things to tell you about me.. – he said as I looked confused at him – Starting off with my name…”

What the fuck was he talking about?? Was he lying to me?

D: “I have a lot of things to tell you about me.. – he said as I looked confused at him – Starting off with my name…”

What the fuck was he talking about?? Was he lying to me?

“Tell me what..?”

D: “But you have to promise me that you’ll listen to me till the end please..”

“Okay, I promise.”

I was confused. I didn’t know what he would say to me..

D: “Well my name isn’t actually Derek, its Damon..”

“W-What?!?” 

D: “ Just listen to me okay.. – I nodded and he continued – I don’t use my real name since my sister’s death.. Cause she never liked it.. And I decided to do one thing like she wanted and this was it.. And I haven’t changed it yet so the last past few months I’ve been using Derek as my name.. I didn’t know about your Derek and if I did, I surely would’ve said either my real name or some other.. I’m telling you this cause you were really honest with me on the first day we met, and I felt like I need to tell about myself too.. Also there’s another reason why I’m not using my name.. The police is after me because of something I did and this is one of the ways to distract them.. Go away now if you want or stay it’s your choice but I had to tell the truth. You look like a person that would keep a secret no matter what it is..”

“I understand you..” I spoke quietly more to myself than to me but he still heard me. Memories started to flash in my mind. Running away from the police cause I was drinking illegally.. Illegal ID’s.. Drugs.. Using other names.. and I was only 16 then.. What was I thinking.. 

D: “You okay Lilly?” 

“Yeah, I’m fine..”

D: “I thought you would’ve left by now..”

“Well I guess you don’t know everything about me yet..” I said as I smiled.

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A/n : Hope u like it <3 Would mean a lot if you leave feedback <3

LOVE YA