The Teacher [Watty Awards 2013] - COMPLETE

XI - A Choice

DEARBORN, MICHIGAN, 1998

It was a beautiful funeral service. The sky was gloomy and small drops of rain were falling down. It was a beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time for Ethan but the time came for him to leave. It was time that he let go of Carla. He realized it when he saw everyone around him turned around to walk away from the grave. It was almost as if they were moving in slow motion, one by one walking away from Carla, letting her go. He stared at her grave for a few more seconds and then he was ready. He was ready to leave and hopefully, let her go.

As he turned to walk away, he glanced to his left to a sight of his father, Isaac staring down at Carla’s grave. Ethan was convinced that his father was not anywhere near ready to leave Carla behind. Ethan stopped. His eyes locked on his father from the distant. Ethan was not sure what he was supposed to do. He wanted to console his father but at the same time, his heart was also breaking. He wanted to hate his father and blame him for everything that had happened to Carla but he didn’t have the heart to do it, especially seeing how Isaac was right now. Ethan felt a shred of hatred towards Isaac but a handful of love at the same time. “Talk to him…” Suddenly, a voice came from behind him. It was Bianca. “He was horrible when he lost your mother. I think he’s blaming himself for Carla now. You know how emotional and self-centered he can get.”

Ethan understood that Bianca was referring to the condition Isaac was in when he lost Abigail, Ethan’s mother. Ethan knew how Isaac only saw his own pain and neglected the rest. Ethan remembered how Isaac became abusive and ignorant. But in a state he was in now, it could be a different story. Isaac may have seen everything as his fault and neglected the rest. He may became punitive of himself and ignore what the world may suggest. Ethan walked towards his father. He hadn’t spoken to Isaac since that phone call he received from Detective Shaw. “Let’s go home.” Ethan said, putting his hand on Isaac’s shoulder. The look on his father’s face was one Ethan never saw before. It was love. A love that was so strong combined with guilt beyond repair. “I failed her. I let her down.” Isaac murmured as he sobbed. He was in the weakest state ever. Ethan didn’t know if he could save Isaac but still, he said, “Dad… it wasn’t your fault.”

“Of course it is. She left home because of me. She did drugs because me. She died overdose because of me.” Isaac argued then he stared at Ethan and continued, “Can’t you see? I did this! I could’ve been a better father to her.” Isaac fell down to his knees, crying. The tears of a father whom child was lost and will were broken. Ethan went down on his knees to talk some sense into his father. He grabbed his father by the shoulder, looking straight into his eyes and said, “Dad… A teacher told me once that pain and anger and trouble will always find us. But it is our choice whether to sink into it or get back on our feet. And Carla… she just sank into it. It was not you who made the choice for her. She chose to leave. She chose the kind of life she lived. How is it your fault?”

Isaac stared back at Ethan and cried as he said, “She’s my little girl, Ethan. I loved her with all my heart. I hoped I could’ve been better for her.”

“You can’t change the past. But you can make a better future. You still have me. Are you going to give up on me now?” Ethan asked.

Isaac looked at Ethan emotionally then hugged him and said, “You know I’d never do that again. You’re all I have now.”

Ethan cried, too. He was glad that his father said that. “Thank you.” He said. Then, the rain fell down heavily but they both stayed there, thankful that they were able to make something good out of something hopeless. They both knew that they needed to let Carla go and move on with their life. One day, the rain will be gone and the Sun will shine again. Someday, it will rain but the Sun will still shine. It was the choice that made the person who they were.