Love Fooled Me

Chapter 21- You Can Let Go

                                                           (Song of the day- Wherever You Will Go)

***A YEAR LATER***

Bella's Point of View:

"Mom i'm going to visit Adam okay?" i called out from the front door. She popped her head out through the kitchen door and smiled softly,

"Send him my regards and much love."

I nodded as i fiddled with my keys, opening my car i slid the car seat back and sat down, taking deep breaths as i did so. In the back sat Adam, asleep.

The drive there wasn't that long, most of the time it was just twenty minutes away or thirty depening on traffic. As i saw my destination nearing by i began to slow down and turned right in through the gates. My chest began to feel heavy again, like the day of the accident. I found myself struggling to breathe and my heart beat rapidly. My stomach churned and turned and my body became stiff.

Relaxing myself with some more deep breaths i grabbed the white flowers that sat on the passengers seat. I opened the back door and carried out Adam. I made my way over to the now very familiar stone. His name was engraved on the light grey stone, his year of birth and the year in which he passed away sat underneath it, and lastly, "Son, Friend, Boyfriend and Father."

I tried to hold back the tears for the sake of the one year anniversary since his death.

*A YEAR AGO*

*FLASHBACK*

Bella's POV:

My phone rang violently while i was in the shower, i wrapped a towel around my  body and rushed outside.

"Hello? Jack?"

"Bella you need to come to the hospital right now." he said. I could feel his voice cracking and shaking while he spoke to me.

"Is everything okay? Where's Adam? He went to look for you" i asked.

"I'm so sorry." he cried, "Just please come to the hospital."

Worried out of my mind i slipped into the first outfit i could find and tied my hair up into a ponytail. I told my mom where i was headed and she decided to come with. We got into the car and in twenty minutes we had arrived at the hospital.

My heart raced within me and i had this feeling that i was going to burst out into tears soon. Walking into the hospital we bumped into Adam's sobbing family.

I stopped in my tracks and all i could feel was my heart beating inside of me, tearing itself apart at the sight in front of me. "What's going on?"

Adam's mother looked at me frantically, as if she didn't want to say the words that would come next. Everyone seemed to stop what they were doing. "He only has a little bit of time left Bella, i'm so sorry."

 I held my tears back not believing a word she spoke. A nurse rushed  by me and i had to stop and ask. The second the room number flowed from her lips i was already bursting through the door.

I couldn't hold back my tears at this point, there was no stopping them. He had tubes running up and down his entire body, bruises covered his face and arms and his eyes were merely closed, but he managed to open them a bit when i walked inside.

I took a hold of his hand and cried. "Adam.." i whispered through my tears.

"Don't be scared ," he coughed, "Bella, i love you." he whispered through his coughing.

I leaned in and lightly rested my head on his chest, "Take care of our baby okay?" i heard his raspy voice whisper in my ear.

I broke into sobs, "Ho-how did you know?"

He tried to force a smile, "I found the test in the bathroom before i left the house."

I sobbed, "Adam, please, please don't leave me!"

He coughed, "I don't have a choice baby, but i love you, so much." a tear slid down his face.

I cried into his chest holding his hand tightly. I kept begging him not to leave me, to stay and help me with our child. But my prayers were not answered. The machines around me began to beep loudly and i looked up frantically, his eyes were closing slowly. And the grip his hand had on mine began to fade. I wiped my tears only to welcome new ones as the doctors rushed inside and told me they needed me to leave for my own sake. I stood by the now closed door and listened.

I whispered to myself, "You can let go now, baby."

An eternal beep signaled his heart had now stopped. I felt arms all around me and i began to sob. It was killing me to see the strongest man i ever knew, passing away in that hospital room.

***PRESENT DAY***

"Look Adam, daddy is here." i cooed. Adam Jr. giggled lightly. He looked a lot like his father honestly. Someday he would grow up and i would bring him here again like i do so often now. And he'll understand why he was never carried by his father, or touched, or diaper changed.

But he'll know that if that would have been a possibility, it would have happened. 

I told Adam about everything that had happened since the last time i came to visit, which had only been a week and a half ago.

My heart broke as i began to remember everything Adam and i had been through together, every bump, every kiss, evertime we sat on that couch and just talked. Everytime we fought but made up minutes after.

It all came rushing back to me, hitting me as hard as ever.

I placed Adam Jr. on the car seat beside me. I let the tears rush down like i did that day at the hospital.

You'd think losing someone you love would get easier as time goes by, but it's been a year since the love of my life has been underneath this ground and every single time i remember, it's like it's happening all over again, like i'm losing him all over again.

It doesn't get easier. Living without someone you love will only get harder, trying to live without someone you had made a priority in your life and trying to fill that empty void that is left behind when they're gone is the hardest thing ever.

Love fooled me into thinking things last forever, when in the real world, they don't. They can end at any point, abruptly and you would have never seen it coming.

Although Adam is gone and has been gone, i'll always remember him and i'll always love him as i know he loves me too. Because you can't forget someone who  gave you so much to remember.

A love that consumed me, adventure, passion.

"I love you baby, always have, always will.

__________________________________________________________________________________

   And this is the end of this book. I cried making this honestly.

   I hope you've all enjoyed this and i apologize it took so long to come along. I hope it'll be worh the wait.

 Much love,

                 Elisa