Sincerely, Anonymous

March 23

March 23

Dear Annabeth,

I feel like my entire body is on fire with exhaustion. Even that doesn’t begin to describe the insufferable and inescapable tiredness that accompanied Senior Week day 1. This may have been because of yesterdays events, which seen like a dream to me, or because I have been up since the crack of dawn, or from the variety of activities crammed into one day, but either way I can barely stay awake even writing this.

The day started off with an activity that I was less than excited for. Dress assignments. On the  bright side, I had been woken up quite earlier then I planned by Kay, who came to tell me that Emily would be out of questioning soon and that she had passed without any discrepancies. On the darker side, she was being released the day after Senior Week ended, meaning that her Career may not be in a steady hold, and if she can not find a way to make up all missed activities of Senior Week she may be forced into doing another year at Cardea to make up for the lost time. It seems a though punishment, that even though nothing was found she is still being held back for being targeted.

In the end, the dress assignment wasn’t bad, it was the thought of Formal that churned my stomach. The dress itself was beautiful. It was perfect actually, more than perfect. I think they gave it to me knowing my Career, but in all honesty I don’t even care. It was a rich emerald color, dark and mysterious but still pretty and girly. It was draped but still clung to me until the waist where is flowed down perfectly. Understated yet beautiful. I lucked out.

The morning went by relatively slowly. Dresses were handed out according to last name, and with my name being early in the order, I got stuck watching as the rest of my class was handed their dresses. Amy got a bright purple dress that clung to her waist, an ironic number for the anorexic girl who fixated on the size of her stomach. It was bedazzled and decked out, making her owner of one of the more complicated dresses in the warehouse, unheard of seeing as she was merely going to the Facilities after Cardea. I watched as Leah got a beautiful gold dress that I remember having an eye on last year. I silently cursed her under my breath, for the world never gives her what she deserves. Brianna ended up with a mint colored dress that rouched along the bodice. Izzy got the worst of the bunch, a horrible lime green princess cut dress that did all sorts of horrors to her usually perfect figure. When Emily’s name was called out, and nobody responded, the beautiful navy dress that was picked for her got thrown back into the warehouse. I held very still in that moment, so angry that that beautiful dress, one that would have looked so wonderful on her, would spend another year collecting dust because of our Government’s need for passive aggressiveness. 

Dress assignments were quickly followed by On Sight Training. The OST was nothing of a surprise. I got to watch lots of videos on the different jobs there were and things to look for in people to know where to place them. I had gotten most of it out of the way already. The process was more complicated then I had thought a few years back, but the Black Tens had been prepping me much longer than the Government had. Job training was pretty similar except I got to fake-place people for different Careers. I was disgusted to find I actually began having fun with it. I wanted so badly to hate my Career, but it was chosen for me for a reason. My need to organize people into categories was strong. I was too logical, too based in black and white. 

I realized how hard it would be to convince me to leave my Career once I had no memory. All I would know would be that Career, which I would undoubtably love. The Black Tens had far harder of a job than I would have ever imagined.

I also got to take my literature exam today, which was tedious and brain numbing. I had never had a problem with literature, and had studied endlessly, so I felt pretty prepared for that one. It was the business and language exams I was really dreading.

Thankfully we got to do electives after that. I got to spend a whole two hours in art class, a class I loved so much  that even sitting next to Alex for the entire period of time didn’t spoil it. I did secretly wish that Emma could be there, not hiding out in my room for the day until I could figure out what to do with her. 

It was 10 by the time I was all finished with electives, and I still wanted to make it to the barn. So I took the subway alone, nearly falling asleep in the car. Thats when I decided to write you. I feel like I write you a lot on subways now in days, its really the only free time I have. But I need to tell you something. Tomorrow morning is the final sports day and it starts at 8 am. With riding coming to a close I need to take advantage of my time to see what it is that Abby left me.

I’m thinking of bringing Emma too. We will have to leave early, make sure that nobody we know will be on the subway to recognize Emma. Preferably nobody at all will be on the subway, just in case they recognize her from the “Have you seen this child” posters hanging around the bulletin boards in town. Most of us high schoolers don’t keep up with them but some of the adults like to stay informed on the Government propaganda.

Love Always,

Lilly