Katya's birthday was on my mind for a week before it came. She was turning 22 and I think I begged Andrey a thousand times to take me for a cake. He knew where all the best bakeries were since I rarely left the walls of the ballet.
"You sure are strange Annika." Andrey said as we walked back to the ballet. We had gotten a small cake but it was pretty. Not to mention Katya's favorite.
"Why?" I asked.
"Well you never leave your ballet! I mean your always dancing."
"That my dear friend is the life of a ballerina!"
"Well don't you one day want to have a life? Children? Marriage?" It was strange how he had sprung this on me I mean I really hadn't ever thought of it before. Nothing had ever come before dancing. Dancing was my life.
"Perhaps one day when I can't dance anymore." I said. We were back home now and Andrey opened the door for me.
"Do you think Katya will like the cake?" I asked him now worried. He laughed one of his deep amusing laughs that made you want to laugh with him.
"Yes Annika she will love it! Besides that dance you have just for her will probably make her heart explode."
"Oh don't forget about the surprise Igorek has for her!" Nobody knew what it was. I thought it was that little locket she had so loved in the shop window of the jewelry shop.
"Yes how can we forget? We don't know what it is!" He laughed. We gathered everyone and went to the room where Katya was practicing alone. This was one of the rare times boys were let past the main hall.
"Happy birthday!" We all screamed.
"S Dnem Rozhdeniya Katya !" Several girls that Katya had been teaching said.
"Yes happy birthday." I said kissing her head and presenting the cake.
"Oh Annika! So pretty thank you!"
"Andrey helped me choose it." I said turning to smile at him.
"Well thank you everyone." Katya said her eyes filled with tears. Just then Igorek walked in grinning.
"Moya lyubovʹ. Would you come out to the garden with me?" He said looking at Katya. She nodded and followed him out. The rest of us crept though the hall following them. He took her out into the garden and sat her down on the stone seat of the fountain.That's when he knelt down and took her hand. We all gasped knowing what was coming next.
"My dearest Katya. My love. I have loved you since the very first time I saw you. Would you give me the honor of making you Katya Sidorova?" He asked. Her eyes brimming with tears she gave him a slow nod then flew into his arms.
"Oh Igorek! I am the happiest girl in all Russia!" She cried. Then they went into a different part of the garden to talk. I felt a sudden pang. My sister was engaged....which meant she would be married. Which meant she wouldn't be living at the ballet anymore. It would be just me. It felt like I was completely loosing Katya.
I remembered when Mama was alive how we had ran around our large garden playing. How Mama was teaching us ballet in our own room which Mama called the ballet room. I couldn't have been more then 2 when that room had become my home. I remembered Katya teaching me to read. Teaching me how to dance pointe. She was a big part of my life. Now she was leaving.
"Annika don't cry." I heard Andrey say behind me. Was I crying? Yes I was. I quickly wiped away my tears and turned away.I sat down on the stone seat that Katya had been sitting on. Andrey wrapped his arms around me.
"It's not like your loosing her Annika. I am sure Igorek will let her visit often. Besides maybe he will even let her teach at the ballet."
I lifted my head up and quickly got up.
"Perhaps Andrey. Perhaps." Then I went to my room too exhausted. I made up my mind though. I would be happy for Katya if it killed me. Besides I liked Igorek. He would take care of her well.
As I drifted off to sleep the scene from last week floated through my mind. The first man lying dead on the ground. The snow around him a crimson color. The other man looking almost happy at what he had done. Happy he had killed someone, Someone with a family,a wife,children. He didn't care. Fear flooded through me. Is this what Russia was becoming? No! It wasn't. The tsar was too powerful. The Cossaks would have him in line soon. Still I would have to be careful. That man had spoken his mind and was killed for it.
"God help Russia." I whispered before falling asleep.
My birthday passed and my favorite gift was a little crystal heart from Andrey. I knew it probably cost a fortune! The Nutcracker was nearing faster then any of us were ready for. Poor Valentina was sick with the stress of it all.
"It will be alright Valentina!" I said one day as she paced her room.
"Oh Annika I am not so sure! It is the TSAR I am dancing for! What if I trip? Or worse fall!" Worry lined her face. Valentina was younger then me. She was only 16 years old.
"You won't! You are just worrying. Pretend you were dancing for Madame Markova. It will be easier that way."
"Maybe your right.....Katya doesn't want the part?" She asked.
"No! Valentina you are and amazing dancer!" I hugged her like Katya would have done for me. Soon either Valentina or I would be prima. If I was prima I would have to be like a mother to the other dancers. Right now Valentina needed me.
"Thank you Annika. You are wonderful." She hugged me back and I went to go practice with her. The Nutcracker was only 2 days away. We were all scared but we would make it. It would be our best performance ever.
Katya was all swept up in a brides world. She was always flushed with happiness and blushed hard when we talked of Igorek. The wedding was to be this spring. I couldn't wait. I could just imagine Katya walked towards Igorek in her splendid gown. Her blond hair seeming to have it's own shine. Her blue eyes outshining the blue sky. She would look even prettier then the tsarina. I was sure of it.
