Who is the Killer?

Chapter 20

PATRICE'S POV

I drum my fingers on the cafeteria table as I try to keep myself from remembering last night's dreadful event. Winona and I were almost killed by Mr. Samson -the person I least expect to be a killer (because he wasn't one of those on the torn piece of paper)- and it was very horrible for the both of us. We were unprepared and surprised that we weren't able to put up a brave front. Who would, though? We're girls who couldn't fight. Death was upon us and we were lucky we are still alive. Then, another unexpected thing happened. Lance was affectionate and sincere to Winona. I know what he's feeling toward Winona because I felt those warm gestures from him before. This is the reason why I'm feeling awkward with her. She hasn't done anything wrong but somehow it offended me. In a manner of speaking, I got jealous.

However, these issues aren't the reason why I try to keep myself from remembering last night's dreadful event. Mr. Michaels gave me and Winona a clear and short instruction that we have to follow: we should not talk about what happened last night with anyone. Of course, after what happened to us, we just can't keep it to ourselves, but the president's instruction was definite that we have to comply. Not even our parents nor the media knew the truth. Everyone who was involved kept their mouths shut. I know it's wrong to delay justice, now that Mr. Samson is missing and it's possible he has escaped, but I'll keep on complying not just for my safety.

"So you already know I'm one of them." I remember what he said when I spoke to him after I found the torn piece of paper with the five names of my classmates.

"Yes." I mutter. "You and the other four... you are the killers."

He did not immediately speak. It seems he is not able to think of other things to say. He knows that he can't lie anymore; that there's nothing to hide. He then stares at me dead in the eyes. "What are you going to do, now that you know who we really are?"

I am not able to look into his eyes. Right, that's the question. I know who the killers are and just publicizing their identities will blow their cover even without immediate proof. The investigators will soon figure out everything. But is that what I really want to do? I did not even consider that option. Right after I figured they were the killers, only one thing came across to my mind and that's to stay quiet. I look away and try hard to swallow the guilt that is eating me as I answer him. "I won't tell anyone."

He sighs like he's quite disappointed with my answer. "Do what you want. I don't care anymore." He turns around to leave. I watch his back and feel embarrassed. It was like I bet on everything, even my pride and conscience, but he just didn't care.

"I did that because I want to protect you!" I exclaim. He stops walking and turns around again to look at me.

"That's cruel."

"You guys are cruel for murdering the people around you, and I don't know why you're doing it but I wouldn't want to know, and I am cruel for choosing to hide the truth... the truth that will save us from your hands..." I say as I walk toward him. "That's life because life is cruel."

He sighs again and puts both his hands in his pockets. He stares away from me and looks at the setting sun on the horizon as the breeze blows gently on us. "Life is beautiful. It's as hopeful as dawn and comforting as dusk. There's nothing in it that's as perfect. We only make it bad... dark... cruel." He then looks at me. "Life is cruel because we made it like that, and it's our choice... my choice to make it cruel."

Remembering those makes me realize that I am no different. Burying the truth for personal reasons and gains is very cruel but that what makes the world go round. Some things are not best known, and I'm glad that I was the one who get to know. I might rot in hell for doing this but this is what's best that I can think of. It's nothing more but for my own.