The Other Potter Book Two

Chapter Seventeen: Don't Pee on Ghosts.

“No, Draco.” I said, pulling away.

“Relax, Pansy –“

“Draco –“

“Just –“

Do you know the noise a slap makes?

Do you know how awesome it feels when you hit someone?

If not, hit someone now!

KAPOW!

I whacked Malfoy across the face, and boy did it feel good! It was almost like a movie scene, where it replays, again and again from every angle. By all means, it was awesome.

"What was that for you stupid, slutty bitch?!" he shrieked.

“Oh wow, I don’t want to kiss you! I must be a slut!” I said loudly.

"You're lucky Snape isn't here, he would have given you a detention" said some haunty-looking fifth year.

OH MY GOD! IF I GET DETENTION, I GET GEORGE!

"But, you're in Pansy's body." Lucy pointed out.

“Seriously, Malfoy,” I said distastefully. “Calling a girl a ‘slutty bitch’ for not wanting to kiss you, is complete shit.” I turned to everyone in the room. “Screw this dumb culture we have – if someone doesn’t want to kiss you, don’t force it. What the fuck? It’s not a hard concept, asshole.”

Draco and I stared at each other coldly, until he decided to drop the topic altogether.

"Saint Potter, the Mudbloods' friend," said Malfoy slowly. "He's another one with no proper wizard feeling, or he wouldn't go around with that Granger Mudblood. And people think he's Slytherin's heir!"

Is he really going to tell us, right now? Too easy.

 “Okay, Will, it required Polyjuice potion, stealing, breaking school rules, pretending to be someone else, almost kissing your brother, informing Slytherins on feminism ...”

“Go away, Lucy.” I growled in my head.

"I wish I knew who it is," said Malfoy moodily. "I could help them."

Ron's jaw dropped so that Crabbe looked even more clueless than usual. Fortunately, Malfoy didn't notice, and Harry, thinking fast, said, "You must have some idea who's behind it all ..." 

"You know I haven't, Goyle, how many times do I have to tell you." snapped Malfoy. "And Father won't tell me anything about the last time the Chamber was opened either. Of course, it was fifty years ago, so it was before his time, but he knows all about it, and he says that it was all kept quiet and it'll look suspicious if I know too much about it. But I know one thing – last time the Chamber of Secrets was opened, a Mudblood died. So I bet it's a matter of time before one of them's killed this time ... I hope its Granger," he said with relish.

Ron was clenching Crabbe's gigantic fists. I was just thinking how it would be just brilliant if he jumped up and punched Malfoy in the face, and I was considering hitting him again, when Harry spoke up.

"D'you know if the person who opened the Chamber last time was caught."

"Oh, yeah ... whoever it was was expelled," said Malfoy. "They're probably still in Azkaban."

"Azkaban." said Harry, puzzled. 

"Azkaban - the wizard prison, Goyle," said Malfoy, looking at him in disbelief "Honestly, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward ... Father says to keep my head down and let the Heir of Slytherin get on with it. He says the school needs ridding of all the Mudblood filth, but not to get mixed up in it. Of course, he's got a lot on his plate at the moment. You know the Ministry of Magic raided our manor last week."