Laughter Is The Best Medicine

297-315

297. It’s a beautiful moment.

Your friend suddenly squeezes her eyes shut and starts shaking her head while laughing so hard little streams of salty tears start running down her cheeks. She covers her mouth with her hands as her wide-eyed face turns red — and you can see shiny reflections sparkle in her glittery wet eyes. Big booms bounce off walls until she eventually slows down, gasps for air, and open her eyes wide while wet sniffling, smiling widely, and regaining her composure.

And then she looks you right in the eyes and smiles. And you look her right in the eyes and smile.

And it starts all over again.

AWESOME!

298. You have not experienced fear until a poster falls down in the middle of the night

299. I am a Woman, I don't know what I want but I get very mad when I don't get it

300. If you have a problem with me write it nicely one a piece of paper, put it in a envelope, fold it up too and shove it up your ass.

301. I'm not saying let’s kill all the stupid people.... I’m just saying let's remove all the warning signs and let the problem solve its self.

302. It says right here: During her period you need to be nice, listen, and shut the fuck up.

303. Look I found a Picture of my love life = blank canvas 

Oh and on the back is a list of people who have a crush on me = still blank

304. That moment when the person you hate starts to talk about other people and she thinks you’re listening but really your thinking: Lord, Grant me the strength to not beat up this bitch with a bat!

305. They say you are what you eat.... hum I don't remember eating a sexy beast this morning.

 306. To do list:

1. Buy a sword

2. Name it kindness

3. Kill people with kindness 

307. Some bitch you don't like is talking to you: Excuse me while I make a list of reasons why I don't give a fuck

308. On any website and seeing someone is on line and thinking: I really want to sit and chat but I’m just going to sit here and wait until you start the conversation.

309. I Googled "who gives a shit" and my name popped up under search results.

310. Mom: your all dressed up where are you going?

Kid: to the bathroom, I need a new Facebook picture!

311. Your ass must be so jealous of all the shit coming out of your mouth

312. If someone hates you for no reason. Give them a reason!!!!

313. We should stop occasionally making eye contact and start occasionally fucking each other. 

314. From the moment I saw you I knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you.

315. Dear Face Washing Commercials,

No body actually splashes their face with  water like that

Sincerely

The bathroom is now sopping wet