Our Little Boy

Our Little Boy - 5

After that night with Dani, I started getting more and more stressed. At work I just rushed around like a zombie, barely stopping to talk to anyone and declining any kind of party invitations. I stopped being my normal self and just became all dark and depressive because all I could ever think about was Hunter. He just took over my mind space all day and all night, even when I was with Rocky. 

I just kept wondering about him and if he was okay and where on earth he was. I couldnt call his house because judging by the last phone call it's like his whole family blamed me for his disappearance. Who cares anyway- whats done is done.

I got home and shut the door behind me, barely remembering to lock it, I kicked my shoes off and then crawled over to the sofa where I just wanted to cry my problems away. I stayed face down on the cushions for ages until my phone rang. I ignored it because I just could not be bothered, but when they called a third time, I just decided to pick it up cos it was the most civilised thing i could do.

"Hello?" I said miserably, getting ready to hang up. "Rain? Where are you?" Rocky asked over the phone sounding annoyed. "I'm at home, why?" I asked, I was preparing myself for a fight because thats just the kind of mood I was in. "At home?! You know I drove past JJ's nursery and I look in and he's the last kid left?" Rocky said, his voice raising a little. My heart skipped a beat then. How the hell could I forget my precious baby?? I sat up quickly. "What?! Well did you take him?" I asked, panicking.

"No, Ray, I just left him there so you could come over and do it. Of course I picked him up!" he replied. His sarcasm hurt a little but I wanted to show him that he couldn't hurt me. "Well bring him home!"

Rocky took a deep breath as JJ gurgled in the background. "You're yelling at me for remembering to pick up your baby from nursery?" he asked calmly but he was still annoyed. "Just hurry up and bring him home!"

When Rocky arrived, I hardly even acknowledged him and just went straight for JJ. "Oh, my baby! Mommy's so, so, sorry!" I said, kissing his hair and forehead quickly and passionately. Rocky wiped his feet and then stepped in. "Oh, you're ever so welcome, Rain." he said sarcastically. I glared at him. "I didn't ask you to do it though, did I?" I snapped. His eyes glowered slightly. "What would of happened if I didn't then? He would have stayed there all night and you wouldnt have thought twice about it!"

I held JJ closer to me, breathing in his soft smell. I still shook at the idea of what would have happened if Rocky wasnt there. But I wasn't about to tell him that. "You know, you've been real moody these last few days." he said, shoving his hands in his jean pockets. I shrugged and then sat down with JJ, cradling him. "Seriously, whats up?" he asked.

"Nothing." I said sharply. Rocky took a deep breath. "Honey, I'm here for you, okay? Whatever it is, I'm here." I looked up at him and really wanted to cry. He was such a sweet guy but why did he always have to say what Hunter used to say to me? He's not really helping his situation. I sighed and blinked back tears. "I know, Rocky." I said.

"So what is it?" he persisted then he paused and looked at JJ playing with his own hands sweetly in my arms. "Do you want his dad instead of me?" Rocky asked softly. Grr, the one question I've been dreading since I decided to go out with him. I didnt know whether to lie or tell him the truth. You know that phrase The truth shall set you free? Yeah, not gonna happen in these circumstances.

I really wanted Hunter to raise JJ but how on earth was I supposed to tell Rocky that?? So the one thing I had to do was annoy him so he'd just drop it. "Why do you have to bring him up?" I said, rasing my voice a little. "I just wanna know, Rain! Gheez, cant I ask questions now?"

"Not personal ones!" "Dont I at least get to know a little bit about you every now and then?" "No." I mumbled. He sighed heavily and pushed his hair back. "Look, I'm sorry, it's just I feel like I'm in competition with JJ's dad and he's not even here." he said miserably.